WATCH: Burst Pipe Showers Gold Coast Cafe-Goers W/ Brown, Bilgey Badness

Ohhhhhh… gross.
Cafes in the Gold Coast suburb of Broadbeach bore the brunt of a burst water main at about 8:30 this morning, when a filth fountain unexpectedly sprang from the bowels of the earth to wreak its breakfast-ruining revenge on street-side punters. 
The pipe cracked while council workers were doing road maintenance, causing the Koi Cafe to cop what I for some reason feel comfortable with calling a Brown Shower, which wrecked upholstery, drove customers indoors, and prompted one staff member to describe the experience to 9 News with the evocative term “back splash“:
They were digging large chunks of concrete out and the pipe exploded and then it just flared up into the air and went all through Koi. A few of our customers had to move out of the way, we were getting a bit of back splash.
Apparently they’re still not 100% sure what caused the bog river’s uprising, but having become familiar with both Captain Planet and Spirited Away, I feel pretty confident in saying that we’re probably well overdue for a visit by some human pollution-caused stink spirit. Cafes of the GC, invest in some ground-to-roof awnings. 

Image: 9 News.