In the internet age, particularly on social media where everyone’s a bloody comedian, you cannot use vague, buzzwordy double-speak political phrases and expect to get away with it cleanly.

Malcolm Turnbull‘s little flutter with the phrase “Australian values” earlier this morning might have set the land-speed record for piss-taking after a flurry of Aussie Twitter users just about fell over themselves crafting gags as to what Australian Values™ really are.
For context, Turnbull proposed changes to the Citizenship Test that, among other things, would introduce a “values” section and an English test to proceedings. Not at all the kind of thing you’d propose when you’re shitting your dacks on a daily basis about the right-wing lunatics in your party constantly showing you their knives.
The quote which Turnbull spouted out to press this morning went a little something like this:

“This is defending, reinforcing, Australian values … what we’ve talked about this morning are values that we all agree with. No-one’s suggested that they’re wrong or mistaken. We all agree with them. We’re standing up for Australian values and the Parliament should do so too.”

But what the sodding hell are “Australian values” exactly?

Folks, strap yourselves in. Here come some real good gags.

And that’s barely scratching the surface of the joy that the #AustralianValues hashtag contains.

It’s a difficult term to define, given that the Government is suddenly trying to anglicise and compartmentalise a culture built on immigration and diversity. If only there were some sort of visual representation that succinctly sums up what Turnbull and Co are aiming for here…


Source: Twitter.
Photo: Stefan Postles/Getty.