Turnbull Denies Trump Torched Him & Insists Everything Is Fine, Actually

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Published

February 2, 2017

Oy vey. Here we bloody go.

There’s no point doing anything other than recapping what’s happened thus far today, so cop this:

Earlier today a Washington Post report asserted that US President Donald Trump reneged on President Obama‘s deal with Australia to resettle some 1,250 refugees during a phone call with Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.
The report suggested that Trump thought the deal was “very bad,” that he would be “killed politically” if he accepted it, and that Australia was trying to import “the next Boston bomber.”
Trump also apparently yelled at Turnbull, giving him a thorough dressing down, before abruptly cutting their phone conversation short 20-odd minutes in.
Turnbull fronted media and offered no comment about the vicious owning he clearly suffered.
The US Consulate then asserted that Trump had not officially scuttled the deal.
Mere minutes later, Trump got on the Tweeter and said this:

Do you believe it? The Obama Administration agreed to take thousands of illegal immigrants from Australia. Why? I will study this dumb deal!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 2, 2017

And now we are here, with Malcolm Turnbull doing the rounds of the media in the hopes of convincing everyone that the orange-skinned, tiny-fingered President of the United States did not just pull his pants down, undies and all, and make the whole school point and laugh at his weird, bent dick.

Firstly, appearing on 2GB where ace political dynamo Ben Fordham lobbed questions with the thick hide of an stretched balloon, Turnbull insisted that the call was not terse, actually. Everything was fine. He’s not even crying, it’s just hayfever.

Turnbull: I can ensure you the call ended courteously. There is a lot of talk about the call from people who were not party to it.

— Henry Belot (@Henry_Belot) February 2, 2017

The call ended “courteously,” despite the fact that Senior Government officials confirmed it very much did not.

Later, on 3AW, Turnbull again limply insisted that the refugee deal was still on, that they do indeed have a firm commitment from the President, and also please stop laughing at him.

Turnbull: We have a clear commitment from the President. It’s been confirmed by his spokesman, his embassy on authority of the White House

— Henry Belot (@Henry_Belot) February 2, 2017

Turnbull: We expect the deal will go ahead. When asked about a Plan B, says the only option off the table is bringing refugees to Australia.

— Henry Belot (@Henry_Belot) February 2, 2017

Yeah bloody right.

So at first, the deal was off. Then it was never off. Then it was under review. Then it wasn’t. Then it was off once again. And now here we are back at almost the same place we were at the start of the day, save for one key bit of information that asserts our elected Prime Minister got his diplomatic backside mercilessly bullied over the phone by the President of the Goddamned United States.

If ever this were appropriate, it’s now: