Tiger Woods Reveals Creepy AF Santa Alter-Ego and People Are Freaked Out

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December 23, 2016

Ah, Christmas. A time when shopping mall carols play until your ears bleed, children await the annual break-in of an old man into their lounge rooms, your racist grandma dribbles lukewarm gravy down her blouse, and Tiger Woods becomes Mac Daddy Santa.

Wait, what? This very morning, Tiger Woods – entrepreneur, known player (of golf and of countless extramarital affairs) and father – revealed his festive alter-ego: Mac Daddy Santa. Woods’ very unexpected Christmas gift to the world came to us in a tweet, along with a caption that is just as cooked as the image itself: “Xmas tradition that my kids love. Mac Daddy Santa is back! – TW”

Xmas tradition that my kids love. Mac Daddy Santa is back! -TW pic.twitter.com/pCWZNNKPRG

— Tiger Woods (@TigerWoods) December 22, 2016

Mac Daddy Santa. Where do we start. The toplessness? The fluffy white hair with a cap on top? The glasses? The dyed white goatee? The “Ho ho ho, motherfuckers” facial expression? The whole package isn’t so much saying “I’m a fun and cool dad” as much as it is “I enjoy engaging in very unwholesome yuletide sexual roleplay”.

It’s a lot, you guys. And understandably, people have some questions.

@TigerWoods “mac daddy” pic.twitter.com/JdLTUZNVTv

— G Boogie (@Ghines02) December 22, 2016

First, we’ve gotta ask: do his kids – Sam, 9, and Charlie, 7, really love Mac Daddy – a name that, according to the Urban Dictionary, refers to “the pimp-meister, the king of streetwalkers, possessor of the blingest of bling-bling?” Or is this a childhood horror that they’ll be discussing with their future therapists?

I’m like 8,000% certain that Mac Daddy Santa isn’t a character Tiger Woods started with his kids. https://t.co/RkOnYQqZKi

— Patrick Quaife (@pquaife) December 22, 2016

All I know is, if my dad whipped out the Mac Daddy costume at Christmas *shudder*, I’d be on the first train to NOPEtown faster than you can say “Tiger Woods cheated on his wife with 120 women during his 5-year marriage”.

Second, who took this picture?

.@TigerWoods who is this taking the picture? Why didn’t they stop this? pic.twitter.com/nv7h7tlNHI

— Curtis Burch (@curtisburch) December 22, 2016

I hope to Saint Nicholas that it wasn’t Sam or Charlie. The dude was ranked number one in golf for 683 weeks – surely he could afford a good camera with a timer.

Third, how long will it take before Mac Daddy becomes a meme?

Calling Tiger’s Mac Daddy Santa look for Halloween 2017.

— Mike Schopp (@Schopptalk) December 22, 2016

The answer is simple, you guys: it already is a meme, because the internet works fast. You can expect to see old m8 Tiger on your feed well after this Festivus and into 2017. It may not be the Christmas meme we want, but it’s the Christmas meme we deserve.

Source: Daily Mail.

Photo: Twitter / @TigerWoods.