Designer Thigh-High Ugg Boots Are Here To Absolutely Ruin Your Day

Friends, I’m sorry if you had a lovely Friday planned. I feel awful if you were planning on a nice, easy day, perhaps ducking out for lunch, looking forward to catching up with friends tonight and sailing on into the weekend.

I’m sorry for all of this, because I’m here to tell you: thigh high Ugg boots just hit the runway at Paris Fashion Week Men’s, and they’re absolutely going to ruin your day.

The monstrosities to footwear are the result of a collaboration between Ugg and designer label Y/Project. The label’s creative director, Glenn Martines, told Vogue that “Putting on Uggs is like putting your foot in a warm pot of butter, and I thought why not elevate that and immerse your full legs!” In butter.

Deciding, like Frankenstein before him, to merge things that ought never have been merged, Martines has now designed an Ugg boot that “climbs to the crotch and covers the whole leg.”

Now, we’ll admit something: these look comfy as sin. But when’s the last time you actually wore Uggs? Remember the feet sweats? Now imagine that, but it’s all up and down your legs and right into your crotch.

Also, some of these bad boys are set to cost well over US $1300. You know how much trackies cost you at K-Mart? About $14, and don’t you dare tell me they’re not equally as comfortable, if not more so.

If stewing in crotch sweats sounds like your thing, however, they’ll be available to purchase from Fall 2018. Best of luck.