At PEDESTRIAN.TV we consider it a moral imperative to bring you the most relevant, timely and interesting news – algorithmically determined to be of immense interest to you. As such: here is a story about a big ol’ vintage vibrator which is being auctioned in Ireland.
Yessir. Over the weekend, Matthews auctioneers in County Meath, Ireland are selling what is described – in wonderfully sterile terms – as an “antique carved ivory ladies companion in scarlet lined leather upholstered carry box with inset bevelled glass panel.”
Ladies companion? Perhaps. Let me be clear: this is a huge dildo, and it is for sale. I choose to believe the image is not a trick of perspective, and it really is the length of a grown man’s arm.
Auctioneer Damien Matthews described the item to the Irish Times, artfully dodging any kind of description of what it actually is (a huge dildo):
It is a beautiful piece, which comes from one of the well-known Anglo-Irish families. A family member found it in a drawer, and he put it in the auction for fun really. We believe the ivory dates back to the 1840s. This fellow, the original owner, was in India in the 1840s, where he shot himself an elephant, and brought the tusk home.
He went deeper – no pun intended – describing the design of the device in great detail. He believes that the actual object was specially carved in China, most likely between 1899 – 1901.
This was a very enlightened family, and this would have been a very loving gift from a husband to wife. You can see that because the level of detail is incredible, down to the folds of the skin. There’s a heart carved at the base of it, where her finger would have been, and a receptacle in which she could keep a lock of his hair.
The sexual liberation movements of the 20th century have given us many wonderful things, but it did not make it acceptable to put some of your partner’s hair inside your sex toy before going to town on it. Perhaps we should reflect on that.
Apparently, there’s an incredible amount of interest in the piece, so you’d better get over there quick with a stack of euros if you’re keen to add it to your collection. Estimates suggest it’ll go for between €500 – €800.
Source: The Guardian.
Photo: Matthews.
