Well then. File this one under yarns we didn’t think we’d be writing about today. Or this week. Or ever, for that matter.

John Turturro has long made it very well known that he’s keen as all getup to make a spinoff movie focusing on “The Jesus Quintana, his cult character from cinema’s greatest bowling-related farce ‘The Big Lebowski.’

The iconic Coen Brothers film had Turturro in a star-making turn as The Jesus, the psychopathic, sex-offending bowling rival of Jeff Bridges‘ lead character ‘The Dude,’ and a man with whom nobody could fuck with.

The Jesus From ‘The Big Lebowski’ Is Getting A Spinoff, So Don’t Fuck With It

The good word emerging today is that the Jesus is indeed riding again, with Turturro reportedly filming a spinoff centred on the character as we speak.

That’s the good news. Now for the supremely weird bit.

The spinoff is apparently taking the form of a remake of the 1974 French film ‘Going Places‘ (original title ‘Les Valseuses‘). For those of you not thoroughly versed in the minutiae of pervy 70s French cinema (aka those of you who never stayed up to watch a post-midnight MA-rated film on SBS back in the day), the OG film is essentially a sex-romp comedy that Roger Ebert at the time described as “the most misogynistic movie I can remember; its hatred of women is palpable and embarrassing,” and stated of writer/director Bertrand Blier “I came away from Going Places feeling that I’d spent two hours in the company of a filmmaker I would never want to meet.

Turturro’s adaptation, which he reportedly wrote the script for, has already begun shooting with a motley cast that includes Bobby Cannavale, Audrey Tatou, and Susan Sarandon of all people. More to that, cop this for a synopsis:

“Two petty thieves, Turturro’s Jesus and Cannavale’s Petey, compete to give a woman (Tautou) her first orgasm after she’s roped into their hijinks. Sarandon also ends up in their company, playing a criminal who just got out after a long stint in prison.”

Yowza.

If nothing else, that would certainly go a long way towards explaining how the Jesus wound up on the sex offenders registry (assuming the movie is set prior to ‘The Big Lebowski‘ of course).

It’s understood that the Coen Brothers have no official involvement in the project, but would have likely given Turturro their blessing to reprise the character given their long and very successful working history together.

The film has no distributor (meaning it’s as indie as indie films get for the time being) and filming is reportedly still ongoing.

‘Course none of this is officially confirmed, so file it snugly in the rumour file for the time being.

But if true, we could all soon have a date next Wednesday, baby.

The Jesus From ‘The Big Lebowski’ Is Getting A Spinoff, So Don’t Fuck With It

Source: Birth Movies Death.