Jean shopping is a horror show at best – you go in with high expectations having seen a specific pair on some babe of a model, only to whack the same ones on your own bod and see a denim-clad sausage staring at you in the change room mirror. WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, DENIM SAUSAGE.
[jwplayer iP9TJaqF]
Cue trying on 194692 other pairs the despo sales assistant throws at you like she wants you to drown in denim. You end up hot, sweaty and wondering if you could feasibly wear no pants and not be arrested.
Given we’re about to hit the cold months (boo) I figured what better time to deep dive into jeans-land. The best pairs of jeans I’ve ever found were through personal recommendations from people who had a similar body type to mine, so I’ve pooled a bunch of friends/fam/colleagues/some randos on the street to help all gals out.
RECOMMENDED BY: Courtney
SIZE: 14-16
BODY TYPE: “A woman with a tiny waist but an ass and thighs that won’t quit. Oh, and short-as-hell legs.”
It’s HARD to find something that will stretch over my toosh while snapping in at the waist, and not being so long in the leg that they bunch around my ankles like shitty leg-warmers. For a long while, my go-to jeans were the TopShop Jonis, because they were stretchy as hell so they essentially moulded to my body. The waist wouldn’t lose its elasticity, and I could get them in a 30″ leg which was AMAZING because I used to have to get my jeans taken up. I did find I had to replace them each year, though.
NOBODY DENIM SIREN SKINNY ANKLE JEANS
RECOMMENDED BY: Emilia
SIZE: 8
BODY TYPE: “Medium height, straight hips with a booty.”
I love the fit and stretch of these jeans – I’m all for a high waist to tuck in my tummy pouch, but the stretch with these means they still feel comfortable.
RECOMMENDED BY: Mel
SIZE: 10
BODY TYPE: “Tall, slim, ass like a flat pancake.”
“I constantly get asked about my Rollas flares. There aren’t that many brands making excellent LONG flares at the moment, and these have been my ride-or-dies for a year now. I have them in this colour as well as a deep indigo blue that seemed to come and go online (please bring it back!!). They are fitted with a little stretch, high waisted so they suck your tummy in and sit nicely, and have a real 70s cut to them.”
RECOMMENDED BY: Courtney
SIZE: 14-16
BODY TYPE: “A woman with a tiny waist but an ass and thighs that won’t quit. Oh, and short-as-hell legs.”
They’re Melbourne-made in a teeny shop on Sydney Road in Brunswick (it’s worth taking a day off to go a visit when it’s quiet). You go in, pick up a pair or three (opt for two-sizes above what you wear) and chuck them on in the change rooms. The staff then help you get the best fit and will mark them up for adjustments and tailoring, which is included in the price. I usually grab the super-high-waist skinny-leg jeans because they’ve got a bit of stretch, don’t lose their shape so they’ll still snap in at the waist. I also get them to cut like four inches off the ankle because I’m a short bitch who can’t just buy a pair of jeans off the rack. They’re $55 a pop, and the tailoring tends to take like two hours tops.
RECOMMENDED BY: Kassia
SIZE: 10
BODY TYPE: “I’m tall and lanky.”
I cannot tell you how incredibly hard it is to find jeans that aren’t a million dollars that don’t sit in the right place on my hips (think Super High-Waisted only be very normal high-waisted and normal high-waisted sitting in that super awkward muffin top zone), and forget about finding ripped jeans where the ‘knee’ rips aren’t halfway up your thigh and very obviously in the wrong place. Cue Glassons jeans which are only $60-ish, sit in a very normal way on my waist and they spread out the ‘rips’ so it doesn’t look ridic. Yes’ they’re still super cropped, but it looks intentional so I’m fine with that.
AGOLDE SOPHIE CROP HIGH RISE SKINNY JEANS
RECOMMENDED BY: Annie
SIZE: 9
BODY TYPE: “I’m all guts, but not much hips and ass.”
I love Agolde jeans, they feel like tracksuit pants, but don’t look like them….dream! I feel like they are my secret, no-one seems to have heard of them when I mention them… until now I guess. Because of my body type, I need a more generous waistband , but then need the legs and ass of my jeans not to be baggy, and these fit the bill.
UNIQLO MATERNITY ULTRA-STRETCH JEANS
RECOMMENDED BY: Emilia
SIZE: 8
BODY TYPE: “7 months pregnant, straight hips with a booty.”
I wore skinny jeans before my pregnancy, so I’ve opted for the uniqlo maternity while pregnant. They’re cheap – $39.90 like WOAH! And they’re comfy, stretchy and still house the front and rear humps, haha.
RECOMMENDED BY: Jocelyn
SIZE: 18-20
BODY TYPE: “Pretty tall with really long legs. I carry most of my weight in my stomach and my legs are fairly thin.”
My absolute fav pair of jeans are these ones from City Chic. They make two types of each style of jeans. These are made for an apple shape so they fit my weird body really well. They have an hourglass cut of jeans too but my body doesn’t look like that so I obviously didn’t buy those. People told me the quality wasn’t great, but I’ve had mine for like over a year now and I haven’t busted through the thighs yet (and I wore them every day when I went overseas). I wear a size 16 in these and I only bought it because the person who sold them to me told me to size down and I’m glad I did. My only issue is they’re not skinny enough in the ankle for me. Just because I’ve got huge thighs doesn’t mean I don’t have skinny ankles! But I just roll them up a little bit and it’s fine.
RECOMMENDED BY: Kylie
SIZE: 10-12
BODY TYPE: “Tall, hips, smallish waste and def a bit of booty.”
I had been eyeing off these Arnsdorf jeans for a while and caved a couple of months ago. I wear them about three times a week because they are so goddamn comfortable, fit really well on the bum and they feel fun. Party pants if you will. They are also a great way to talk to nice strangers as people openly comment on them (I guess the two tone denim is a bit weird?) – I have never owned a pair of jeans that stimulate so much conversation. Arnsdorf is a little expenno but it’s mainly because they are cut so well, sourced sustainably and made in Melbourne. They actually just won the sustainability award at the National Designer Awards earlier this year.
AGOLDE RILEY JEANS
RECOMMENDED BY: Vanna
SIZE: 6-8
BODY TYPE: “
“I’m an apple – carry most of my weight in the top half of my body (boobs , back , face lol), slim below.”
RECOMMENDED BY: Emma
SIZE: 10
BODY TYPE: “I am tall and curvaceous sista with baby bearing hips and a naturally synched waist (thanking my goddesses for that one).”
These jeans are a chill 75 bucks, which was a big drawcard. But they also have zero ankle scrunch, and they’re stretchy AF so they skim over curves like a dream. They’re also super good quality for the price, I reckon.
RECOMMENDED BY: Emma
SIZE: 6
BODY TYPE: “The size of a tiny child with a butt.”
I have a tiny short waist, short legs, and a butt, which makes finding jeans that don’t require $10000 in alterations an absolute headache. I found that Topshop jeans fit perfectly, are nice and stretchy and require zero alterations.
NEUW DENIM BOWERY SKINNY JEANS
RECOMMENDED BY: Alex
SIZE: 12
BODY TYPE: “I’m a tall gal with Kim Kardashian levels of ass”
I have an ass and I will never not have an ass (thanks, mum). But the Bowery Skinny jeans are just perfect. I have the Black Silk, and I wear them constantly. They cut off mid-ankle, which is super flattering if you have curves, and the slightly higher waist means you don’t get that gap (especially great for girls with small waists but booty, like moi). Other bonuses: they’ve lasted being worn at least twice a week for a year now, and are grub-proof. I’ve dropped way too much food on mine and they still look okay.
FOREVER NEW LILY HIGH RISE ANKLE GRAZER
RECOMMENDED BY: Imogen
SIZE: 14-16
BODY TYPE: “Short short legs, skull crushing thighs, hips that suggest I could birth many babies.”
I adore these because they have good stretch and sit above my belly button. I wear a size 14 or 16 depending on brands, I get the 14 in these jeans. I have a bit of a tummy but my biggest issue is my thighs are not in proportion with the rest of my body, that’s why these jeans are perfect – their stretch means they can deal with my big thighs without splitting.
RECOMMENDED BY: Valeria
SIZE: 6
BODY TYPE: “A petite, mini stick figure with a South-American bum”
I tend to stick to H&M super skinnies. First of all because they look like a million bucks (well, $300), but actually cost a fifth of that; and also because they actually cater for short-legged stick figures like me (meaning the knee rips sit exactly where they should, not on my shin. Oh, and I’ve had most of them for about 10 years and they still look the same. Topshop Motos would be my second choice, but they don’t enjoy being washed as much.
RECOMMENDED BY: Jodie
SIZE: 11
BODY TYPE: “The body of Mike from Monsters Inc. – skinny legs and real round on top.”
These jeans are miracle workers. Seriously – they hold me in, but still give me good mobility. And they suck in my love handles like Spanx.
TOPSHOP MOTO ORSON MID-BLUE SLIM LEG JEANS
RECOMMENDED BY: Lucinda
SIZE: 8
BODY TYPE: “Size 8, slim athletic build with a small waist, longer torso and little to no ass.”
I no shit bought 8 pairs of TopShop jeans over 12 months, excavating my wallet in search of the perfect everyday jean that was flattering and cool. I’ve tried Jamie, Mom, Joni – all too tight, or not flattering enough, or not the right colour. Just NQR. Then I discovered the Orson. They’re high-waisted, but not to the harry-high-pants level. They’re tight in the waist and mid-section, and the thicker denim style means they suck you in without looking bulky. They’re a slim leg but not tight. Mainly though, it’s the colour that’s bang on. People always mistake them for Levi’s when I wear them. And of course, the back pockets are high. I got them in 30inch and they sit perfectly on my ankle (god bless TopShop for their jean lengths)!
RE/DONE LEVIS HIGH RISE ANKLE CROP
RECOMMENDED BY: Kate
SIZE: 8
BODY TYPE: I’m tall and gangly with long legs and a bit of a booty.
These cost the Earth but for me, it’s worth it. I wear mine pretty much daily and the fit is yet to lose it’s shape. They’re vintage Levi’s that have been reworked, so it’s kind of insane that they price ’em up the way they do but hey – like most women I’ll pay top dollar if I know the jeans will be my forever pair. They have a more modern shape than vintage Levi’s from a vintage store. Saves me schlepping through vintage pairs that give me the long bum look.
RECOMMENDED BY: Audrey
SIZE: 10
BODY TYPE: “Short af, didn’t skip leg day.”
These are the perfect ‘I bought these at a vintage market but really I paid my weeks rent for them’ vintage blue wash jean. Great length for shorties like myself, love the straight cut and raw hem.
H&M+ SHAPING SKINNY HIGH JEANS
RECOMMENDED BY: Jocelyn
SIZE: 18-20
BODY TYPE:
I got them these in a H&M store (I can’t find them on the Aussie site), and I love them. They’re really stretchy and skinny at the ankle. Let’s be real, they’re literally just leggings. I had to size up like 2 or 3 sizes which is ridiculous. I’m not a size 24 but apparently H&M thinks I am. They’re good for what they are but it made me feel weird buying them when people exist who are bigger than me (people who are actually a size 24) and can’t buy jeans.
ASOS FARLEIGH HIGH WAIST SLIM MOM JEANS
RECOMMENDED BY: Mel
SIZE: 10
BODY TYPE: “I’m tall, slim, and have an ass like a flat pancake”.
“I used to wear these jeans to DEATH, and while now I favour the flare shape or wide leg, they’re worth a mention. EVERYONE used to ask me about them, and I reckon I’ve started a cult based around the Farleigh jeans tbh. They’re amazing because they’re fitted and relatively stiff, but have a bit of stretch so they’re super comfy. They suck in your tummy, lift your ass and end flatteringly at the ankle. The Prince Wash was my fave but they come in a range of colours.”
RECOMMENDED BY: Sonja
SIZE: 10
BODY TYPE: “Tall with child bearing hips, a booty and a flat stomach.”
These are the most comfortable jeans – they’re super high waisted and very flattering. Also they have a bit of stretch which is great for my fluctuating weight.
RECOMMENDED BY: Georgie
SIZE: 11
BODY TYPE: “Curvy with extra cheese”
I’ve bought two pairs of these jeans in the blue denim and one in washed black, that’s how much I love them. They’re super comfy for my inconveniently large child-bearing hips, and they kinda hold in my muffin top as opposed to squeezing it out.
RECOMMENDED BY: Chantelle
SIZE: 12
BODY TYPE: “All out of proportion – bottom heavy with a smaller waist”.
These are the only jeans I’ve ever found that are high-waisted but don’t end up gaping around my waist. I’ve got them in three diff colours.
RECOMMENDED BY: Audrey
SIZE: 10
BODY TYPE: “Short af, didn’t skip leg day.”
I love these jeans. The kick flare at the ankle makes my legs look longer. Also really into the raw hem. Best part is they are cheap enough to have in all four washes.
