Lady Gaga performed the Super Bowl half-time show today, and goddamn if it wasn’t a fiery performance of passion, glitter, and jumping off extremely tall surfaces and eliciting gasps from the enormous global audience.
While most normal, logical people were excited to see one of the biggest popstars in the world do one of the most iconic performances in Western civilisation, there was a small group of people who were… err – expecting something else.
There’s a helluva lot of Trump supporters who, in the lead-up to the shalf-time show, were hellbent on warning their fellow Trump fans that Lady Gaga would be performing a terrifying!! satanic!! ritual!! *clutches pearls*
Yuuuuuuuup, you read correctly. The proud deplorables were very concerned that Gaga would be performing a ritual for her god, “Satan”.
Why? Look, we dunno. We are just SO confused by the logical thought processes of these people, which is because there are none.
One lady wrote this horrific little essay:
“To add insult to injury, because the Satanic forces aren’t already having a field-day with president Trump, they have cleverly placed Lady “Gaga” (named appropriately for the gagging reflex that God-loving people get when they realize what demonic forces she serves) to perform at the Super Bowl. Why her and why the Super Bowl? Because she’s there as a representative of the Dark.And she gets to expose the Dark’s agenda to millions upon millions of passive individuals, who are glued to their T.V.s, mindlessly… Do we honestly think that this demonically possessed individual will offer just music and dancing for half-time entertainment? NO! She has an agenda. It is Satanic in nature. Watch it with an object mind, if you’re brave…The Demons are loose in the world, and this is yet another ritual to tear down this country through more division and to undermine president Trump’s desire to protect the U.S. against all enemies foreign and domestic. This is how the Dark Forces operate.Below is a video on what this Lady Gaga — nothing lady about her — is really all about. No, it’s not Art!”
Another woman decided she would boycott the Super Bowl… or at least, like, part of it. She posted on Facebook, “Turning it off for halftime!”.
This bizarre and unfathomably paranoid idea was apparently planted not as a seed, but a fully-formed paranoia. It was rammed into the minds of some (apparently extremely easily-swayed) people, by batshit insane far-right professional yeller, Alex Jones.
If you enjoy being aural torture and permanent emotional scarring, then please enjoy this inane rambling about popstars doing Satanic rituals by The Very Red Man™:
Lady Gaga‘s halftime show has obviously now been and gone. There wasn’t any immediate signs of Satanism, or a Satanic ritual, from what we (or anybody with a brain) could see.
We’re yet to come across any retractions, updates, or acknowledgements of incorrect predictions from the people involved, but we’ll keep you updated. (You’ll likely never hear about this ever again, tbh.)
Source: Some very dark places of the internet / Alex Jones.
Photo: Kevin Mazur / Getty.