Some people aren’t looking for anything logical. Some people just want to watch the world burn.
For those parents among you who are struggling to fully comprehend just how much of a terror your tiny human truly is, a cinema chain in the United States has found the precise, hellish solution for you.
Cinepolis, a Mexico-based chain of cinemas with a string of locations throughout California, has decided to install a series of special, kid-friendly cinemas, which not only have the usual cinema amenities like cup holders and such, but also sport the E X T R E M E L Y B A D concept of an in-theatre playground.
That’s right, folks. A full-sized jungle gym from which a gaggle of screaming children can overpower the sound of the in-progress film you just paid $50 to get into, all the while gaining energy from the hatred they inspire in you as you sit pinned to a suspiciously uncomfortable seat, feet glued to the floor by a combination of spilled soft drink and puke as the newest ‘Trolls‘ movie openly mocks you in 3D.
The in-theatre concept, dubbed Cinepolis Junior, is being installed in two cinemas in Southern California, with theatres sporting a full-sized playground, a play area in between the front seats and the screen (shudder), along with bean bag chairs. For this, the cinemas will be charging $3 above normal ticket prices. Because what’s better than accessing an area that somehow has to be both loud and quiet at the same time than paying a premium price to do so?
The concept already exists in select cinemas in the company’s native Mexico, with the first opening back in 2014. A 360 degree video posted to YouTube allows you an immersive preview of the pure horrors that lie within.
PRO: The stomach churning-effects of a kid throwing themselves down a slide over and over means they’ll probably throw up the mountain of fizzy drink and fairy floss they somehow had the stomach space to consume in the actual cinema, rather than in the car on the ride home.
CON: Your soul gets slowly extracted from your nostrils as each frame of the film you’ll never remember watching passes.
Parenthood. It’s a tough, tough game.
Source: LA Times.
