School’s In, Mean Girls: Your Guide To Fashion Week’s Schedule

Granted my experience at past fashion weeks is limited to sneaking into off-site shows, I think it’s safe to say that Fashion Week and High School have a lot in common. The official Mercedes-Benz Australian Fashion Week schedule has been released, and it’s just like your high school timetable: five days to the week, 9am starts and a shuttle bus that’ll take you from the main venue at the Overseas Passenger Terminal to off-site shows, also known as, excursions! It’s like all your mufti days come at once, except these kids are positively high on statement accessories, head to toe prêt-à-porter crack and rosé. So I’mma break it down for you, take you to college and teach you some knowledge.

This map is going to be your guide to Fashion Week. Where you sit in the shows is crucial because you’ve got everybody there, you’ve got your freshmen, prom kings and queens, menswear jocks, cool Asians, girls who eat their feelings, girls who don’t eat anything, desperate wannabes, Fashion Week bloggers, the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of The Plastics. Just kidding. Plastic is so not #chictothenextlev.

Prom Kings and Queens:
These guys and gals are like the Spring Fling kings and queens of Australian fashion: Romance Was Born, Akira, Dion Lee, Josh Goot, Ellery, Zimmermann, Kirrily Johnston, Toni Maticevski, Carl Kapp, Magdalena Velevska, Fernando Frisoni and Jayson Brunsdon. They’re mostly showing off-site so you know they’re going to be spending a lot of time chain smoking behind Westfield sippin’ on Boost Juice, with the exception of Akira, Carl Kapp, Maticevksi and Brunsdon, who are all showing on-site. The rest of them are truants.

The Old School:
Ginger & Smart will celebrate their 10th anniversary alongside the most dependable, studious regulars include Camilla, Alice McCall, Bec & Bridge, Lisa Ho, Gary Bigeni, Manning Cartell and Gail Sorronda. You know these guys have done their homework and will not let you borrow their notes afterward.

Freshmen and Fresh Meat:
The first day of high school is tough. The first time you show at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week is probably going to be tougher. Shining their shoes for the first time are Bless’ed are the Meek, Roopa Pemmaraju, An Ode to No One, Watson X Watson, Flowers for a Vagabond, Toi et Moi, Dylan Cooper, By Johnny, Aje, and nANA jUDY. On the official schedule for the first time are home-schooled jungle freaks Australian icons Jenny Kee and purveyor of leather goods Oroton, who are bringing the incredibly stylish Moda Operandi accessories guru and street style icon, Taylor Tomasi-Hill to Fashion Week (pictured above far-right).

There’ll be two orientation days, also known as New Generation Shows for Collecting Pretty Boys, Elliatt, Kahlo, Kristi Rose, Tovah, Ash To Gold, LittleGracie, Luela, Susan Rep, Aanchal Chanda, Uscari and LF Markey.

Those kids who took extra TAFE courses while they were at high school when you couldn’t be bothered? Their hard work is paying off, with the graduates from the Sydney Institute including Carlie Waterman, Stephanie Goerlach, Cynthia Thai, Yuliy Gershinsky, Christopher Baldwin, and Kaylene Milner all showing their debut collections.

The Hottie International Exchange Student:
MBFW New York alumni, West Coast California Gurl who made the trek from The Hills to The City, Whitney Port, will present her Whitney Eve and WE by Whitney Eve collections in Australia for the first time within the new venue space, The Box. Awkward if she runs into that guy she dated from that band Tamarama.

The Synchronised Swim School:
Don’t laugh. Synchronised swimming is harder than it looks. So is swimwear. We are Handsome, Suboo, Lisa Maree & Kooey will present swim and resort wear collections so don’t forget to wear your nose plugs and wear thongs in the showers. And don’t take in any of the pool water, champagne will suffice.

The Menswear Jocks:
Big men on campus showing menswear in their collections include Christopher Esber, Song for the Mute, and Ksubi. There’ll also be a Men’s Group show featuring: From Britten P/L, Injury, MilsMANIFESTO, Zsadar, Nathan Paul Swimwear, Kalb and Etiw.

Cool Asians:
Hot off the crowded streets of the next big fashion capital, Hong Kong, burgeoning international design talents making their debut including DoDo Leung, Hei Lau, Chairlie Ho and Harrison Wong. The Raffles International Designer Showcase will also feature collections from fellow exchangers Winson Tan (Malaysia), Crystal Tsoi (Hong Kong), Akaya Ichikawa (Japan) and Gabriel Lee (Korea). You know what they say about exchange students, right? Study hard, play harder.

The Spring Summer 2012/13 Collections will take place April 30 to May 4, 2012. Don’t forget your lingerie and some form of animal ears.

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