All The Glitz, Bits And Unexplained Curtis Stone (???) On The 2022 SAG Awards Red Carpet

It’s Awards Season baby! Today we have the Screen Actors Guild Awards (AKA the SAG Awards) and it’s an in-person event (!!!) which can only mean one thing — a red carpet crawling with great fashions and equally as heinous acts of clothing for us to pour over.

Laying my cards on the table here — I’m not a fashion writer. I don’t know a whole lot about fancy clothes beyond that one time I got a really nice Camilla & Marc for a pittance, but I’m very happy to sit here and gawk when actors get all gussied up in designer garb.

Some of them look great, others are certainly… a choice. For some reason, Curtis Stone (yeah, the bloke from the Coles ads) was on the red carpet doing the most Australian thing possible — taking photos of something on his phone.

So without any more faff, here’s my not-at-all-qualified reads on some of the looks that hit the SAG Awards red carpet this year.

OBSESSED with this on Vanessa Hudgens. The silhouette is stunning on her. I was thinking literally last week when the resurgence of the mid-00s obsession with mint green was going to happen. It’s happening!!

A big congratulations to our Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban on finally moulding together into one anthropomorphic glob with one of those Australian-Los Angeles hybrid accents.

For real though, Nicole’s look is giving me all the best parts of Moira Rose’s closet.

Hello to my other parents, Elvira Lind and Oscar Isaac. Love the colour blocking on Oscar’s shirt and bowtie, and letting that top half shine by pairing it with a jacket that makes him match someone’s Bed Threads in a terrace in Fitzroy North somewhere.

Not a massive fan of what Elvira’s got going on here. It’s a little what-do-you-mean-Drag-Race-has-a-sewing-challenge, if you know what I mean. I think she could have elevated this with a belt or something on the waist to match the heel and tie it all together. Gotta give points to wearing a dress with pockets on a carpet though.

WE! LOVE! A! PANTS! SUIT! Mira Sorvino has nailed this. At first, I wasn’t stoked on the disco ball bra moment happening in there. But also someone’s clearly been paying attention to the indie sleaze revival. The matching pointed toe heel, I see you and I respect you.

Oh I love this. At first it looks like Marlee Matlin‘s dress is a simple A-line black and white moment with a sweetheart neckline. And then you really look and realise that the whole bodice and skirt are glitzed and jewelled to the nines. It’s your moment babes, shine!

MUM YES GOD. Everything that Fran Drescher puts on is perfect. Immaculate. Forever living her Fran Fine truth. Love this for her and for all of us who get to witness it.

I feel like I’m just very into everything but I do love this. It’s stunning. Kim Joo-ryeong‘s strapless floor length gown toes the line of having tie-dye energy. But it almost looks… linen?

Like, this is so lovely and gentle. She’s got that ethereal energy of the night crawling up to meet the last remaining licks of daylight at the end of the day. I feel at peace just looking at this gown.

Love love love the intricate gem work on the top half, possibly because I’d simply die to have my nips on full diamond-encrusted glamazon. The scarf isn’t doing it for me. That with the thicker fabric in the skirt weighs down the whole look, and really overbalances the height that Laverne Cox has gone for here with that ultra-high ponytail.

OB. SESSED. Saniyya Sidney is having her princess moment and we are all blessed to see it.

Curtis Stone what… are you doing. Did you take the wrong door? What’s going on.

Jeremy Strong really out here cosplaying the pink velour shellback lounge I have on my front porch for the SAG Awards red carpet. It’s certainly… A Look. Should have stuck with a matte white tie tbh.

This is so much. It’s too much. Aunjanue Ellis went into the designer’s fitting room and just said “yes please”. The thing that upsets me the most here — apart from it being outrageously busy head to toe — is that her neck is entirely lost to that detail on the shoulders and collarbone. It makes her look like a box covered in shucked oysters, and not in a good way.

Ugh fuck me up, Cate Blanchett. The deep drop neck with the chunky gem detailing. The ruching (?) on the hip line that looks like a designer equivalent of those bibs kids wear that catch all their dropped food. This is simple and so gorgeous.

I firmly believe that Lady Gaga could wear the shit out of a paper bag. No notes.