Here’s a sentence I never, ever, expected to write: Post Malone has collaborated with Crocs to produce a line of shoes and they’re sold out already.
Post Malone. Made a line of Crocs. With bespoke jibbitz charms. And it’s already sold out.
HOO BOY. It’s gunna be one of those days, is it?
Crocs are notoriously the ugliest shoes that should be reserved only for people who work in kitchens and 50+ dads taking their kids out on the water in the family canoe, but Post Malone has somehow grabbed a hold of the abomination to the style industry and made it into one of the hottest pieces of clothing to own.
The collab was sparked by Post tweeting a while back that you can tell a lot about someone by their jibbitz, which are those little rubbery things you can stick into the tops of your Crocs. His ones? Well they feature his face tattoo, for starters.
u can tell a lot about a man by the jibbits on his crocs
— Post Malone (@PostMalone) June 6, 2018
The collab is part of the Crocs’ wider ‘Come As You Are‘ range, which I’m sure Kurt Cobain would be very stoked to know that the iconic Nirvana song name is being used to promote shoes that are exclusively worn by children under the age of five and grandparents who spend their weekends gardening and just need “something to kick around the house in.”
Now, I’ll admit, I actually quite like Post Malone’s style. His penchant for wildly loud cowboy suits and diamond-encrusted boots absolutely hit all the right buttons for me, in terms of experimenting with your own personal style – these looks embody his self-confidence and he carries each of these alarming pieces well.
DARING. I LOVE IT.
But Crocs? That is where I draw the line in the sand, my friends.
Look, everything about this is heinously foul but the kids are fuckin’ scrambling to get themselves a pair.
Considering these sold out in mere hours confirms to me that 1. I do not understand style and 2. I really don’t understand style.
It’s not just the youths that are keen to get these things on their feet, either. Madonna commented on Post’s Instagram pining after a pair, and the Crocs team were quick to tell her to slide on into their DMs.
Post Malone designs crocs and they sell out. Madonna wants a pair of them. It’s not even 2019 yet pic.twitter.com/l9BOYQ1ORP
— gracè (@gracelandproj) November 1, 2018
Though these feet crimes sold out in hours after they were put up for sale, the Crocs site says that it’s going to do another drop soon, so I’m sure half the trendy-ass offices on [insert local fashionable suburb here] will be sporting these Posty Co. numbers over summer.