You really have to feel for the utter creeps of this world.* Before the internet allowed ’em to shoot wildly horny and totally unsolicited messages straight into the digital inboxes of random women, they had to find their prospective suitors / targets IRL.
“To Whom It May ConcernDear Miss Hayley
How are you? Hoping you will be fine and well.
I would like to inform you that I found your precious purse (looks like it :)) by Liverpool street station.Might you dropped it and looking for it.My whole intentions to go inside your purse was to look for your address or anything which can help me send this thing to you nothing else but I found some naughty stuff as well don’t need to feel any embracement, honestly I like those people who take extra care lol”.
The Mirror, who a) first reported the story and are b) Minn’s employer, clarified that “naughty stuff” here refers to the humble franga. As if the author’s blatant thirst obfuscated that fact.
From there, it only gets worse:
“Kindly check all your belongings and if possible do let me know via email if you received it on funny.stud@[Re-bloody-dacted].By chance if you could not find anything which you are looking for than trust me I did not take anything at all I am sending you as I found it.Just a piece of advice kindly look after yourself and your belongings when you go out or allow someone else because you are one of the beautiful person I have ever seen (I am sure in real you are more beautiful as compare to your picture)I wish if I can take you out sometime and spend time but I am sure you will definitely have someone in your life who is taking care of you very well otherwise allow me lol 🙂Have a good weekendPlease do not hesitate to contact me should you require anything or if you think I would be able to do anything for you.Looking forward for your replyEnjoy every single moment of your life and enjoy as much as you can because you never know what is going to happen next 🙂Your Secret Admirer or Friend lol 🙂Email Friend (if you don’t mind)”
Mum, I’m famous. https://t.co/J5EI7cx4Ej
— Hayley Minn (@hayleyminn) March 5, 2017
Source: The Mirror.
Photo: Burn After Reading / StudioCanal / Relativity Media / Working Title.