A hipster grifter is in your midst, Perth.
At least there might be according to the suspicions of Perth Gumtree user Bobo who last month suffered the unspeakable horror of waking to find that every Apple product in his possession – a Macbook Pro, iPhone, iPod, his Mum’s iPad and his uni’s Macbook Air – had vanished the day after his housemate had an adult sleepover party with some random dude who looks suspiciously like Charlie from Girls. Here’s his story…
Hey Brosef
You don’t know me but you totally gave my now ex housemate the D on Monday the 21/10/13. She was pretty nice bro, righteous 😉
Now I know it was just one of those things, it could of happen to anyone, but let’s face it you are a hipster and Apple stuff just magnetically attracts itself to you. I was tempting fate to start with , though in my defense I had no idea you were even in our house ! When you let yourself out I think you might of taken some of my Apple stuff with you. No biggie, i bet you didn’t even know, it’s like dirt on shoes for you guys !!
Now if you get the chance it would be awesome if you could return my gear, I know it was all on desk next my door. I was in the shower and im sure you were rushing to your next fixie race. Now the only things that were mine were the Mac Book Pro, the IPod and IPhone, thanks for saving the IPhones battery by turning it off. Now “technically” the Mac Air belongs to my university. They will just drop $1249.00 on this semester’s tuition to recoup the cost. Meh no biggie, there pretty cool about it I can replace it or I can pay for it. Oh yeah almost forgot… the crypto keys for my encrypted hdd at the unit are on the Mac Air. I’ll fail this year without that data , YOLO. I’m still young.
And for the Ipad, you know the one that had ” i love you mum ” engraved on the back. That was my mums. Wanted me to install io7, lol. Silly I know right, it’s just an excuse to spend more time with me; you know how mothers are when they get cancer. I wanted to thank you for that. Now when they pump toxic chems right in to her heart i don’t have to listen to candy crush. Such a relief , the sound of candy popping was wayyyyyyyy worse than drawn out excruciating breaths. Listening to my mother’s death rattle while her body is eaten alive my toxic chemicals has put a fascinating perspective on life, you’re a champ !!!
Anyway Mate, Cheers
Bobo
A sketch of the dreamboat suspect...
