Pedestrian’s Guide To Vogue Fashion’s Night Out

Now in its third year in Australia and its fourth internationally, Vogue’s Fashion’s Night Out has had a proven effect on a somewhat staid Australian retail landscape since its inception at the hands of Anna Wintour, back in the thick of 2009’s GFC.

This year, fashion’s favourite en masse gathering takes place on Thursday September 6th (that’s tomorrow) and it’s expected to attract some 120,000 thirsty Veuve- and bargain-starved punters to the Sydney CBD where over 600 retailers will be taking part. Six hundred retailers. That’s, like, 200,000 macarons, 50,000 balayaged crowns and at least four disgraced ladies hurling into their monogrammed totes.

With a new annual theme in ‘Fashion Meets Music‘, Vogue is set to station a succession of celebrity songstresses, including Megan Washington, Jessica Mauboy and the graduating class of The Voice ’12, throughout the CBD to entertain the savings-savvy hoards throughout the night. But a free gig isn’t the only thing up for grabs, with each retailer offering special incentives to make parting with your cash even sweeter sorrow.

To save you wading through each store in search of the best bargains, the best booze or the best celeb stalking, here’s my gift with purchase to you: Pedestrian’s Guide To Vogue’s Fashion’s Night, thematised through GIFs and my favourite genre of film and television: fashion.

Project RSA Runway (Booze!)

Real talk time: VFNO is pretty great if you’re into a) fashion b) booze or c) canapés. Let’s face it, who isn’t into at least one of those things? American Vogue’s punchline for this year’s FNO is something like ‘Don’t Just Come For The Free Drinks‘ but they’re a large draw card for the evening and can make flicking through racks of unattainable FW12/13 all the more bearable. Here’s where you’ll land the best deals on frizzle fizzay – oh, and there are also awesome bargains to be had at:

Camilla, where you can score champagne and canapés, and where you’ll also be treated to personal styling, a gift with purchase (from hereon in a ‘GWP‘) plus an exclusive peak at the SS12 Gypset collection, one of the best styled shows at this year’s Fashion Week. Sounds kaftastic!

Diane (Dee-ahn) Von Furstenburg will be plying fans of the wrap dress with espresso martinis and canapés. Treat yo’self to a GWP, plus beauty tips and tricks from an unspecified international make-up leader. In house DJs will also play audible joie de vivre for fans of feeling good.

Little Joe are plying patrons with flutes of comp French champers and fistfuls of fashion’s second favourite sweet treat: the cupcake. There’s also 10-15% off current and sales season collections respectively and you can also win a not-so-little $200 gift voucher.

Swarovski’s VFNO offerings straddle more of these categories than Cosmo sex guide, but on account of their serving a Galliano Amaretto Sour rock-royalty cocktail, they’ll have to be filed under Project RSA. They’ve also got in store DJs, a GWP, a photography experience and the first twenty people to check in on Facebook and actually buy something will receive a Swarovski notebook, guaranteed to make your words sparkle.

How’d You Get So Rich? (Bargains!)

Our friends at Ksubi are offering 15% off all in-store denim at their Pitt St store if you could be so kind and bring in a pair of your old jeans (all brands accepted). All proceeds will be donated to Father Riley’s Youth Off The Streets program; so not only will you score an envy-inducing pair of jeans, you’ll actually be doing some good for disadvantaged Sydney kids. This is what FNO is all about. That, and cupcakes.

Everyone’s favourite e-tailer ASOS are stepping away from The Internet and doing FNO IRL. They’ll be offering ASOS treats, special offers, competitions and the latest issue of ASOS magazine in hardcopy form! “But how will I get the most out ASOS if I’m not in my PJs?” There’s an app for that. Download the ASOS Scan to Shop app from iTunes to get the run down on all of the deals while you enjoy free canapés!

Thurley will surely be offering a generous 20% off new season arrivals from their Fading Rainbows collection, at both their Westfield and DJs stores.

At Armani Exchange from 5pm, the bouffant DJ Faustina Agolley aka Fuzzy will be playing live in store amongst racks on racks on racks of discounted Armani at 20% off.

Fashion Police (Where the Vogue at?)

Martin Place is being transformed into The Vogue Precinct for one night only, featuring prêt-à-porter pagodas, pop-up stores, food trucks and DJs. You can also score a VOGUE temporary tattoo to support the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute and show your allegiance to capital-F Fashion.

The night will kick off at Martin Place, so this is your chance to catch a glimpse of the evening’s highest concentration of celebrités and Vogue personalities in one place. And us! So come say ‘Hi’ or something. ¯_(?)_/¯

If you want to spot live models in their natural habitat, Tiffany & Co. are partnering with Watson X Watson to showcase their combined collections. Added bonus: treats and beverages.

David Jones will have men’s and women’s fashion parades, meets and greets with designers and celebrities, resident DJs in the DJs house and special offers.

The Devil Wears Prada (Or, How To Conduct Yourself in a High Fashion Environment)

VFNO is a fantastic opportunity to go into stores you otherwise would be shit scared to enter 364 other days of the year. My only advice for entering these environments, and for life in general, comes in the form of some of my favourite GIFs (see below).

If words like Dries van Noten, Christopher Kane, Lanvin, Mary Katrantzou, Erdem and Marni make you wince in equal parts pleasure and pain, Belinda at the MLC have 10% off all current collections. Hurts so good.

Chanello! Swing by the House of Chanel to get your bouclé mittens on a sure to sell out piece of the VFNO exclusive makeup collection from Chanel’s Creative Director of Makeup, Peter Philips.

Christian Louboutin are launching their Higness Dragon Tattoo shoe for the ladies (probably nine months too late) and an accompanying iPad case. Plus, you can get your fortune read and a temporary Louboutin tattoo to match your dragon tattoo shoe. Because nothing says ‘garish‘ like that sentence!

Mulberry, favourite of Chungs and Del Reys everywhere, are also jumping on the polaroid bandwagon and will dish out goodie bags and prizes. Here’s a reminder of how to handle yourself in these stores and many others.

Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky (Hey Mr DJ)

At 4:45 the night kicks off with a performance from budding superstar Jess Mauboy in the Martin Place Vogue Precinct. If Mauboy’s performance in The Sapphires is anything to go by, then you’re going to want a catch a glimpse of the girl before she Makes It In America. Our favourite gamine Megan Washington will also take to the stage at 5:20pm, and with a spot supporting the recently-wed Rufus Wainwright on tour (say that five times really fast) and the ability to sight-read Beck/The Simpsons mashups, you’re going to want to catch her quick-E-smart.

You’re also going to want to absorb the aural goodness of a bevvy of Modular DJs, including Beni, R&R, Slow Blow and Totally Barry DJs in The Vogue Precinct, Galleries Victoria and Mid-City Centre from 5 to 9 (what a way to make a living).

Luxe purveyor of leather and waiting lists, Hermés will also have DJs from 6, plus a guest mixologist so you can get Hermérry.

The GAP are staging a silent disco with two of Sydney’s top DJs soundtracking a night of discounted basics. Plus, you get a pair of GAP headphones with each purchase. Sounds pretty good, amirite!?

At Gucci, The Faders DJs will also be spinning creative director Frida Giannini’s favourite tracks. Also, you can get your Gucci on in current Fall Winter 2012 accessories, take a polaroid of the moment home with you, and leave all the luxe Gucci goodness behind! Guilt and debt free Gucci!

Our lace-clad favourites at LOVER will be staging a listening party for Cat Power’s long-anticipated new album, Sun. Plus, if you spend over $300 (wouldn’t shouldn’t be too hard) you’ll receive a free copy of Sun. I’m pretty sure that’s what they call a win-win situation.

The Intern (Free Stuff)

The best WILLOW look of the evening WILL go into the running to win a $1000 gift certificate from WILLOW. God WILLING it’s you.

Manning Cartell will open the doors on their new-look Strand boutique from 5pm, and will be popping champagne to celebrate. They’re also offering 15% off the Pearls and Men Collection, and the first 30 customers will receive a frizz-defying GHD Smooth and Finish Serum and an exclusive gift from La Prairie and a Salt City Candle.

Westfield are also parading shirtless babes around their Pitt St store, and they’ll be offering the chance to win a $10,000 wardrobe. No biggie.

This is a BurBerry enticing offer: as per previous years, the quintessential British label are giving fans the chance to win a Burberry Nude Trench. Don’t be disheartened when you probably don’t win, because 10% of the value of all purchases made on the night will be donated to the Burberry Foundation.

If you’ve worked all day, chances are you’re going to be feeling and looking pretty flat. Get a shot of fabulous and your hair did at same time courtesy of the MLC Blow Dry Bar, where you can score free blow and champagne. Why don’t all bars do this? Oh wait, they do…

At Georg Jensen, not only can you snag 10% off on all of the shiny things but you can go in for the chance to win one of six Grape Rings! Whatever they are they are probably not edible.

What Not To Wear

Wear whatever you want! Don’t let anybody tell you what you should or shouldn’t wear, ever. And…