Pedestrian’s Guide To Physical Participation


Sol and MTV recently got together with their pals Alison Wonderland and F.R.I.E.N.D/s DJs in Sydney to throw a summer pop-up party, complete with wrestling ring, Psy impersonator and live DJ sets. Inspired by the party’s Mexican Wrestling main event, we’ve put together a guide to sport, whether you’re a passionate participant or a satisfied spectator. Disclaimer: the term ‘sports’ is used very, very loosely.
BEACH ACTION  
Participate: Let’s start with the most obvious Summer physical activity. Beach and/or pool-based sports are usually right at the top of the to do list as the weather warms up. From surfing and body boarding to scuba and snorkeling, slip into some on-trend neoprene and embrace the salt and sun. Floating on a li-lo and general flapping about in the sea are widely considered legit participation sports in Summer, as is beach cricket and kite flying. Or you could always go for a camel ride.
Spectate: If paddling around in the ocean isn’t really your style, you can always immerse yourself in classic spectators sports like lying on a towel surreptitiously checking out babes behind mirrored lenses, you stealthy little genius. Or you could follow Karl Stefanovic’s lead and simply develop a crush on a couple of surf bros/babes.
MEXICAN WRESTLING 
Participate: In case you
were looking for the perfect excuse to embrace stereotyped elements of
Mexican culture and dress up in Lucha Libre costuming, then here it is.
This novelty contact sport featuring lycra onesies provided live
entertainment and stimuli for faux violence at the Sol MTV Pop Up party.
What you need to participate is a stretchy costume (if you have a 1930s
swimsuit with built-in shorts handy you’re onto a winner!), an
intimidating colourful leather gimp mask, and a worthy opponent.
Wrestling rings can be fashioned by constructing a perimeter made from
crepe paper wrapped around four backyard cricket stumps. Or just pull a
queen size bed into the middle of a room and go for broke.
In
the world of Mexican wrestling it is arguable that the costumes are
even more important than attacking moves in bouts, which some sources
have claimed are choreographed. F.R.I.E.N.D/s explained that “It’s
controversial, but apparently the result of the fight is actually
preplanned! I read it on a blog site that that’s what happens, so if
what I read was correct, the costume is basically the whole thing,
right?”
Spectate: We get the feeling
that, by and large, Mexican wrestling is a spectator’s sport. But if
you are driven by competitive urges but less enthused about stepping
into the ring, thumb wrestling could be a great alternative. Although
costumes an optional extra for this one, Leon and Garth of F.R.I.E.N.D/s
roadtested this one for us and discovered that the humble thumb wrestle
is a great way to potentially hold hands with a babe. They’ve got dibs
on attractive over-achiever Miranda Kerr, whilst Alison wants to get her
hands on recently-single Jack Sparrow Johnny Depp.

DANCE OFF
Participate: This is all you need to know: Jamiroquai’s music – and quite possibly the entire nu-disco/funktronica genres (shudder) – were built specifically for competitive rug cutting. A win is guaranteed if you’re equipped with the pop and lock repertoire of Usher et al, but in all likelihood you cannot move like a carved 20-something black man, so your best bet is combine Eighties aerobic steps with spazzy self-awareness; that is, as many of these moves into your routine as physically possible:
Spectate: Don’t spectate – dance! Unless your crippling social anxiety manifests itself in a complete shutdown of motor skills. If that’s the case, all you need to do is drink eight beers and according to the Laws of Consumption you should be dancefloor-ready.
BASKETBALL 
Participate: Take this increasingly on-trend ball sport out of the indoor stadiums and start shooting buckets outside of the school, Fresh Prince styles. Kobe, Durant and even Jordan all
started somewhere right? And there’s something romantic about the
concept of street ball (an attitude that might have come from watching
Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes endure one of the great on-screen
broamnces in “White Men Can’t Jump”). If you decide to join a local
competition be sure to create a punny team name. Or if you’re a more
casual baller you can always check this website to find a court near you, oh, only ANYWHERE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD.
Spectate:
Not entirely sold on the idea of physical gameplay? Alison Wonderland
has a suggestion: “I don’t know if this is classified as ‘sport’ but
once a year the NBA hold a competition called the Slam Dunk Contest and I
am obsessed with that. It’s a religious thing for me, I never miss it.
It’s very entertaining, basically its just a lot of amazing ballers
inventing their own types of really cool slam dunks.” Check out the best
of this year’s dunks here.

Or you could just watch one of the many great basketball-themed documentaries or movies. Or the not-great-but-kinda-awesome ones like The Air Up There starring Kevin Bacon.

SAND-SCULPTING AND/OR CASTLES
Participate: We may kind of be pushing it by including this one, but considering it’s a competitive event which requires extensive training, it’s close enough to being a sport as far as we’re concerned. Skill and technique are both required whether you’re half-burying an intoxicated mate under a mermaid tail or replicating the Sistine chapel on the Goldie.
Spectate: On Fairhaven Beach about 90 minutes drive from Melbourne the inaugural Sandcastle Challenge will take place. This celebration of regression involves putting your sandcastle making skills to the test against the forces of nature (also known as the ocean). This isn’t about the delicately hand carved bullshit using kitchen tools but about creating an epic sand mound that can take the rising tide like a boss! Get involved here.
This is a recreation of Windsor Castle made entirely of sand:
Photo via Getty Images.

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