There’s Now Skincare For Your Nuts If You Want A Ballsack As Smooth As Joe Rogan’s Head

nutcare grooming
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I believe it was the poet Lil Jon who once wrote, “To the window, to the wall; ‘Til the sweat drop down my balls”.

While it wasn’t the first, Lil Jon’s iconic work is probably the most popular example of a problem people with ballsacks have been dealing with since the dawn of humankind – that sometimes, it gets a bit sweaty down there.

If you’re sick and tired of having a crotch that gets so swampy that it feels like Shrek is about to move in between your thighs, there is a solution. There’s some form of skincare routine available for every part of your body, so of course, there’s one designed specifically for your balls.

Nutcare is a skincare brand that has gone balls-deep on keeping you nice and fresh down there. From scrubs that’ll have your nuts smelling like a nice spring day to hair removal cream that’ll help you cut down on sweating through your undies, nutcare will help stop your ballsack smelling dank.

As an added bonus, you can also score 10% off your order if you use the code Pedestrian when checking out.

nutcare sugar nuts
sugar nuts – $39.99

If you’re the kind of person who prefers an all-in-one grooming option, then nutcare’s sugar nuts is a raw sugar exfoliant that’ll not only help to keep your balls squeaky clean but your whole body too. It uses a combination of natural detoxifying and antibacterial ingredients to help cut down on skin irritation and odours, leaving your skin nicely nourished.

barenuts nutcare grooming
barenuts – $29.99

One of the easiest ways to minimise sweaty balls is to keep your downstairs hair under control. The less hair, the less sweaty it gets. But considering how sensitive that area can be, letting any sharp object get close to the family jewels isn’t ideal. Not to mention a saggy sack doesn’t exactly make for a smooth shave.

I actually have a family friend who accidentally gave himself a homemade vasectomy while mowing the enchanted forest of his nethers, which is something I think about whenever it’s trimming time.

If you don’t want to risk a too-close shave, then try barenuts which is a pubic hair-removal cream designed to give you an eggshell smooth sack. Not only will it help you freshen up by making it so you can just wipe your pubes away, but it’ll also moisturise and hydrate your balls too.

smooth nuts – $44.99

Nutcare has also taken anti-wrinkle cream to its absolute endpoint with smooth nuts, a moisturiser that will provide you with “a more youthful looking scrotum”.

Look, I’m not going to pretend that I fully understand how cream is meant to stop your balls from looking like a chewed-up wad of gum, but history is defined by those willing to throw their hats over the wall. No one thought we could put a man on the moon or that Leo DiCaprio would date someone over the age of 25, but here we are.

Nutcare Game Changer – $98.95

The Game Changer bundle includes nutcare’s smooth nuts moisturiser, barenuts pube removal cream and sugar nuts body scrub. It also includes a bamboo nutcare catchers mitt that you can use to give your balls a good towelling down.

Nutcare also sells an anti-chaffing powder, nutdust wilding, which is designed to stop the discomfort that comes from sweaty armpits or inner thighs rubbing together. Unfortunately, if you are keen on dusting your sack like a cinnamon doughnut, the nutcare powder is currently sold out.

You can check out the full range of nutcare’s skincare here. And don’t forget to use the code Pedestrian when checking out to save 10% off your order.