Nonagenarian (look it up then thank us for teaching you a new word), fashion icon and the woman you wanna be when you grow up, Iris Apfel, has just dropped a wearable fitness tracker that isn’t the ugliest effing thing we’ve ever seen.
Which makes perfect sense, because JUST LOOK AT THIS DOPENESS:
The collab between Iris, 94, and tech company WiseWear launched at the 2016 Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas, and is her first – and probs last, TBH – foray into wearable tech.
When asked why she hopped on the bandwagon at this late stage, she said: “If a technology is going to strive to save my life, then at least take the next step to make me look good while doing it.”
Designed as almost-jewellery, the bracelets not only track your hydration levels and calories burned, but have a genius “distress messaging” feature, which will send your geolocation to a trusted contact should anything go horribly wrong on arms day.
Before you swear off the possibility of a good-looking wearable existing, behold the “Socialite Collection”:
The “Calder“, a bold, fuck-off looking piece:
The “Dutchess“, another ling-ling you forgot your bling-bling-esque option:
And lastly, the “Kingston” for the more
boring conservative among us:
Each tracker is US$300 but, if you live to be Iris’ age, practically pays for itself.