I was under the impression that ever since X-tina and Cher slung boa in the movie of the same name, Burlesque had been relegated to the sad confines of suburban hen’s nights. But lining up at the Athenaeum in
Melbourne last Saturday night, to witness the crowning of Miss Burlesque 2013 with a few hundred other people, I realised I was completely remiss. Even after the untimely deaths of many pin-up nights, such as Melbourne’s Sweet Jelly Roll, there is still passionately dedicated fanbase.
Flaunting flesh since 2009, the Miss Burlesque Australia is the largest and most prestigious burlesque competition in the country. Heats are held in each state and collected for the finals here in Melbourne, which was curated this year by reigning Miss Nude World (imagine that, imagine being the best in the whole world at being naked), Cassandra Jane.
The crowd was a mixed bag – plenty of possible entrants and rock-a-billy pin-ups but also a strong audience of people just there for the show. Tickets were sharp at around $100 but they seemed to have no problem filling the large theatre. Very obvious was the expectation of entertainment – these people were expecting a show, not just boobies.
The red-carpeted lobby area was an explosion of Swarovski crystals, sequins, feathers, silk, satin, organza and netting. MC’d by the 2010 winner Rita Fontaine – devastatingly attractive, a pulmonary Pol-Pot things kicked off with the Mr Boylesque finalist for WA, Jack London Lad [thanks to commenter, the fabulous Miss Nude World Cassandra Jane for pointing out that typo] a 6’4 120kg cowboy with an unnerving resemblance to Danny Trejo. He was terrifying.
Jack Lad
The other Boylesque contestants followed with more traditionally, but no less inventive, vaudeville style routines. The eventual winner, Prince Enigma, did an artist-formally-known-as-Prince medially with onstage costume changes that would have made Liza Minnelli weep.
The one and only ‘Prince Enigma’
The boys were surprisingly excellent, with creative and polished routines but it’s clear burlesque still belongs to the babes. The ten consummate contestants (one per state and three wild cards) shimmied,
shimmered and simmered through two routines each. There were giant mechanical lotus flowers, literal oceans of silk, bilateral nipple tassel twirls, feathers, fans, splits and sequins. So many sequins. It went for three hours and was completely mesmerising. By the time showgirl and circus performer Strawberry Siren was crowned Miss Burlesque 2013, the crowed was spent.
Her winning performance was an aerial silk strip tease while dangling three meters off the ground – just watching it was exhausting.
What was so striking about each of the acts was the breathtaking technical ability. The aerobic, aerobatic and acrobatic feats performed would have been impressive fully clothed, but in not much more than a sequined G-string, a pair of nipple tassels and a constant cheesecake smile, they were breathtaking. It was as far removed from its oft compared counterpart, stripping, than Beyonce is from Tara Reid.
The time and dedication it must take to reach this standard, in every facet from the elaborate, slutty-cousin-of-ballroom-dancing costumes, MAC girl make-up and circ-de-soleil routines, would be Olympian.
It was really interesting to see that burlesque culture in Australia is thriving as a respected form of entertainment and at such a highly competitive level. Shows I’d seen before had always been always a bit self-conscious, like the girls had been copying the routines off YouTube in their living rooms. Miss Burlesque Australia, however was an immaculately run competition of remarkably hardworking dancers, a multitude of support staff and corporate sponsors. It was incredibly professional and entertaining. Much respect.
Written by Alice Williams, co-founder and editor of SPOOK magazine; contributor to a bunch of other publications; avid Tweeter; admirer of burlesque.
