Miranda Kerr Executes Final Defection From David Jones, Blesses Myer With Kora Organics

It’s the final twist of the knife, the ultimate betrayal, the heaviest blow [of a poisoned, energising citrus mist air kiss]. Miranda Kerr, who earlier this year changed her professional relationship status with David Jones to ‘like, It’s Complicated xx,’ has reportedly decided to pull her Kora Organics range of household cleaners for your banged up asymmetrical face from the shelves of Jones The Grocers in favour of supplying it to rival emporium and Your Store™, Myer.

According to news.com.au, Kerr is in negotiations to purify all Kora products from DJs, who have stocked the line since its inception in 2009 when Kerr began acting as the store’s perfect face and lil’ blue forehead vein. It’s the final move in the chess game of Kerr’s business strategy to sever all ties with the houndstooth hawkers. 
Myer CEO Bernie Brookes is quoted in today’s Sunday Telegraph as saying, “Her team have presented the product and the cosmetic team are looking at it, we will probably range it.” ‘It’ being Kora Organics, a line of flavoured airs.
Sadly, however, Myer have “No plans to use Miranda as a Myer clan member, she is a fantastic young lady but retail’s pretty tough and a second ambassador would be beyond our cost regime.” Meaning you win this round, Jen H; that vein on Miranda’s forehead is popping like crazy right now. 
Nevertheless, The Vein has spoken.
Earlier this week, a Proenza-clad Miranda landed on the cover of Vogue Korea with a moist, calming lavender mist thud. Enjoy.
Photo: Mark Metcalfe via Getty, Eric Guilleman for Vogue Korea