The true wisdom of Quentin Tarantino’s ’94 opus Pulp Fiction lies not in the everyday presence of divinity or the futility of modern life or even the gravitas of dysenteric family heirlooms. No, the greatest life lesson of Tarantino’s nihilistic sophomore hit is to not insufflate unknown white powder under the assumption that it is cocaine. Because unless you happen to fraternize with compulsive sweeteners or terrorists, in most cases, the white powder you find discreetly nestled in an acquaintance’s jacket pocket will be cocaine, but not always. And when you assume, as Mia Wallace erroneously did, you make an ass out of you, me and Eric Stoltz.
So here’s the lesson: Don’t assume that strange white powder is anything but what it actually is, as it can lead to potentially fatal or embarrassing misunderstandings. With that in mind, The New York Post wrote yesterday of a female employee at the Marc Jacobs store in SoHo, New York City who received a package from California containing an unidentified white powder. Thinking it was anthrax, the employee notified local police who called in the FBI. The Feds then reverted investigations back to the police on some jurisdictional loophole and the NYPD later identified the substance to be cocaine. The employee was later taken in for questioning then released without charge. So yeah, it’s like a reverse Mia Wallace with coke as the pivot and two potentially fatal substances on either end of the fail spectrum, except this version is way more embarrassing and you know, happened in real life.
