JUST LIKE US: Female Dragonflies Fake Their Own Deaths To Avoid Having Sex

If you’ve ever felt like the only way to get rid of a particularly tenacious dick on the dance floor is by faking a fatal heart attack, at least now you can take comfort in the fact that the experience is so universal as to cross the boundaries of species. 

The latest #relatable revelation to emerge from our study of the animal kingdom: a Swiss ecologist has discovered that female dragonflies often fake their own deaths to deter persistent suitors. 

@DavidNelsonNews Him: hi, would you like to….
Her: *interrupts* I can’t, I’m suddenly dead

— LoLa (@lolalissaa) April 27, 2017

The study, published by Rassim Khelifa from the University of Zurich, found that female moorland hawker dragonflies who were pursued by males they weren’t keen on would literally drop out of the sky and play dead to avoid their advances. 

According to his study, 27 out of 31 observed female dragonflies did the drop-and-dodge, and 21 of the fake-outs were successful (RIP to the six who weren’t). 

Speaking to New Scientist, Khelifa observed:

No shit.

Has Twitter picked this up and run with it? 

Have done this at bars https://t.co/dmccU0pHom

— Jenavieve Hatch (@jenavievehatch) April 27, 2017

I just found out that female dragonflies will fake sudden death to avoid males and honestly I’ve never related more to anything in my life

— Ragen ?? (@RagenEggert) April 27, 2017

@DavidNelsonNews “Hey, I noticed how flawless your wings were. Your beaut…….. FAM.. You good???”
*me* pic.twitter.com/R1BxzR9ndc

— Rubenesque Bitch (@AyeCeeWhy) April 27, 2017

lmaooooo wow niggas is universally annoying. female dragonflies faking their death to curve a nigga https://t.co/JEF3b1J8sM

— 7 GOD (@iiBreakNecks) April 28, 2017

Guys, just be glad when she says she already came with someone. https://t.co/HbVXaAluiS

— Tony Pizza (@trivialtony) April 30, 2017

@DavidNelsonNews now we’re gonna get a dragonfly emoji

— ??Run The Rules?? (@steaks) April 27, 2017

This study about female dragonflies who pretend to drop dead when unwanted suitors come along is the most relatable thing I’ve read all day

— Maddie Stone (@themadstone) April 27, 2017

Take notes, mates. Remember that old saying: if it’s good enough for the insect kingdom, it’s good enough for you.