Have you ever wondered what goes on on the simplest URLs on the internet? When you think about the most popular websites, you don’t really think about sex.com, or bread.net, do you?
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Well, I have been, so because I’m a weird unit, here’s what’s happening on the internet’s most straight-forward URLs.
Sex.com
Not gonna lie, folks. This does exactly what it says on the tin, in that it’s just porn. Funnily enough, it doesn’t seem to come close to the quality you’d expect from a big-name URL like sex.com, particularly when compared to sites like PornHub, but you can’t deny, it delivers sex on the internet, therefore warranting the name, sex.com.
“On Sex.com, you can see the best sex videos, pics and porn GIFs for free,” the site’s description reads. “How do we judge what the best sex content is? We don’t! The best adult videos and pictures producers make sure to post and pin their best selections using our hosting service platform. Today, Sex.com has millions of them and it’s up to you to decide which one’s are the best.”
After glancing at the front page, I can see that there’s a frightening amount of CGI videos, so maybe it’s a destination for that kind of stuff, who knows? I refuse to delve any deeper because I’m in an office for fuck’s sake.
I’m gonna post a picture of all of the sites for you, but I’m not gonna do that for sex.com for obvious reasons.
Cars.com
Cars.com is very much cars.com, in that it’s a website to buy and sell cars. It’s mostly pretty boring unless you’re keen on buying or selling a car.
Beer.com
Well would you look at that, beer.com is up for grabs and all you’ll need is a casual $7 million.
Actually, it’s probably more than that now. According to Wikipedia, beer.com sold for $7 million back in 2004, and seeing as it’s not being used for anything, the purchaser is likely an investor hoping to make a profit at some point.
Bread.com
Bread.com actually redirects to innovativebakeryresources.com, which appears to be some kind of weird bread think tank.
“Innovative Bakery Resources (IBR), a division of Ardent Mills, is dedicated to the art and science of artisanal bread making at scale,” the site’s homepage reads. “Equal parts bakery facility and think tank, our state-of-the-art facility unites cutting edge concepts with high-touch craftsmanship to help customers quickly commercialize ideas.”
Cool, I guess.
Dogs.com
This just redirects to petsmart.com. Not much else to point out here, other than what a great move purchasing that domain name was for PetSmart. Well played.
God.com
God.com cannot be reached, which can only mean that God is dead. This is amusing, to me.
Ball.com
I gotta tell ya, this isn’t as fun as the name would have you believe. Ball.com seems to deal with packaging and aerospace concerns and to be honest, that’s all I need to know. Next!
Pants.com
Fuck yeah, pants. This is just a directory which aims to help you “Find Better Pants, Slacks, Jeans, and Slacks,” the site says.
Whether you wear pants or not, you simply must respect its vision.
Food.com
It’s another redirect, friends. This time, we’re taken to geniuskitchen.com, which appears to be a site for food news, recipes, etc.
To be fair, it’s pretty bland.
Fart.com
Holy fuck, fart.com is working on something. I can’t stop laughing. What do you think it is?
Fart.com is cooking up a romper for sure.
Poo.com
This seems to be some kind of chatroom, but full of filth. Within three seconds of joining the “images on” room, I was sent a picture of someone giving a blowjob, so that about says it all.
“You have found the home of the most unique chat application on the internet,” the site description reads. “You can chat with and share images, including animated GIF images, videos, links, snapshots and music with users from all over the world or even create a custom chat room in seconds for your friends and family to join.”
That makes it sound almost kinda wholesome, but it’s really not.
There you have it, folks, there’s not really much to see on the internet’s most straight-forward URLs. For the most part, you get what you’d expect, but sometimes, you get nasty chatrooms. Be safe online, friends.
