Ja Rule’s Luxury Festival For Rich Kids Turned Out To Be A Disastrous Grift

If you’ve been hanging out for a chance at another sweet, sweet dose of rich dickhead schadenfreude, here it is in spades: insane luxury event Fyre Festival, brainchild of entrepreneur Billy McFarland and Ja Rule (yes, the Ja Rule), has descended into absolute mayhem. 
Tickets to the festival, held on an island in the Bahamas, cost hopeful punters between $5,350 (US$4,000) and $16,000 (US$12,000). They arrived Thursday night to utter chaos.
We’re talking unassembled tents, nonexistent facilities, piles of trash, rampant theft, belligerent local security, WILD DOGS, and the overall appearance of a dystopian prison camp. 

The festival was touted as the ultimate glamping experience complete with art, music and food, and a lineup featuring Major Lazer, Blink 182, Migos and Lil Yachty.
Instead, this is what the catering looks like:
…Blink 182 are gorn

And yep, the festival is all but kaput. A statement from the organisers on Thursday night informed patrons that the island was overcrowded (!) and all the flights in would be cancelled. 
The #FyreFestival Twitter hashtag is flooded with on-the-ground accounts, and it sounds in-fucking-sane – like a cross between Lord of the Flies, Mad Max and Hunger Games, only everyone involved has come directly from that Rich Kids of Instagram account

It’s straight up Lord of the Flies at the #fyrefestival right now. Will be keeping you guys updated on stories ??

A post shared by Big Kid Problems (@bigkidproblems) on

Fyre Festival, for its part, is clearly attempting damage control, but let’s be real: ain’t no amount of control gonna touch this kinda damage. 

Things got off to an unexpected start at day one of Fyre Festival. FOR THOSE CURRENTLY ON GREAT EXUMA We are working to comfortably accommodate guests and deliver a great experience. If you have needs, please head to the “BLUE HOUSE” on the main festival site. Security, first aid, and Fyre Festival staff are here to assist immediately, 24/7. FOR THOSE WITH PENDING TRAVEL TO THE EXUMAS TOMORROW Due to circumstances beyond our control, and in line with a culture of safety, all inbound charter flights to the Exumas have been canceled. Your ticket and any funds uploaded to your RFID band will be refunded. Thank you for bearing with us as we work through the growing pains that every first year event experiences. Revised itinerary information will be shared soon for the remainder of this weekend and weekend two.

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There’s already rumours of class action lawsuits, considering Fyre Festival’s terms of agreement state that there will be no refunds. Of course, the plaintiffs will all have to make it through the night first. We wish them the best of luck in the Thunderdome

Image: Instagram / @bigkidproblems