Science is yet to actualise the concept of ‘sex on tap’ but, by god, we’re not far off either. You only need cast your mind (or search engine) back to the Eighties to really see how far technology has opened the doors to a whole new genre of sexual activity. And I’m not talking about your mail order sex pillows bearing the likeness of Princess Leia, I mean basics like sexting and cybersex; once they were the giggle-worthy expressions of Internet predators, now they’re a comfortable part of day-to-day conversational vernacular!
As technology has evolved, teeing up a booty call has been simplified into a basic two-step texting process involving four-character propositions such as: u up?. We’ve evolved even further with the development of time-sensitive video sharing platforms like Snapchat, designed (probably) specifically to give horny youths a safer medium through which to propagate tit and dick pics amongst themselves.
Yep, time sure has changed our sex lives. But easy access doesn’t necessarily equate to increased action. There exists a few classic cock-blocking variables that can’t be overcome with technology. Like living with parents. Historically, living at home with parents was considered the Kryptonite of an active sex life, but is it still the cause of libidinous woes? I ask this, not because I’m a categorical creep in need of #realtalk masturbatory material but because of some recent research indicating that living at home with parents makes us more sexually conservative.
Why less sex?
Results from the research conducted for Cleo Magazine, are the reason that, for the first time since its inception in 1972, the magazine will not use sex as a focal selling point on the cover. This is the first issue of Cleo featuring the less sex-centric cover design. As you’ll witness, the only sexual reference has been tucked into shared space with the barcode:
Cleo‘s new editor Sharri Markson told the Sydney Morning Herald that the women surveyed (aged 14 to 26) revealed a strong streak of conservatism which she holds accountable to the fact almost 70 per cent of those surveyed live at home with one or both parents.
“They are embarrassed to be sitting at home with their parents reading a magazine which has the word ‘orgasm’ in bold print on the cover,” she said. “There is a huge number of young women living at home with their parents now because of the explosion in rents across the country. It’s impacted on their promiscuity. We think this generation is promiscuous, but our research doesn’t bear that out.”
It kinda sounds like Ms Markson is inferring we are sexless Victorian socially-vacant idiots who aren’t getting any and aren’t wanting any, which, frankly, is a little offensive. Guess what Sharri Markson: Generation Y can be just as promiscuous and embracing of the written word ‘orgasm’ as the slutty generations that have gone before – maybe even more so! Statistics that the Cleo research failed to glean was that three quarters of known cases of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) occur among people aged between 15 and 29 years, and eight out of ten diagnosed cases of Chlamydia are in people aged between 15 and 29 years, so I think we still know a thing or two about having promiscuous sex, amrite!? (Or we are just really good at spreading STIs, as the case may be).
Truth is, some people might have mellow free-spirited parents who are indifferent to weed smoking and orgies in the living room. Some have probably perfected the art of high-speed blow jobs and WD40-enhanced perfectly silent cornholing so mums strolling the corridors are none the wiser. Some kids live in their parents’ mansions where a cavalcade of sex partners can enjoy handjobs on the regular in the privacy of their own sex dojo – tucked away in a wing of the mansion (which I imagine is like Beast’s in Disney’s Beauty And The Beast). However, for most of us who aren’t sex ninjas or mansion dwellers or spawn of The Fockers, is it really surprising to think your sex quota does take a dive when living with your folks? Not because we’re a generation of strait-laced prudes (not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you), but because maybe we’re actually sensitive to the fact our parents like to think of us as their children for eternity, and by not pounding ass on their property we’re simply showing them a little respect?
Note: Of course, we don’t respect them to the extent that making this face is completely off the table.
Let’s talk about sex – or lack thereof. Does living with parents cramp your style?
