Insufferable Celebrity Chef Recommends More Insufferable Super Food You’ve Never Heard Of Before

Twitter’s lengthy attack on Pete Evans and his love affair with activated almonds has clearly not bruised his ego in the slightest, with the TV chef, Weight Watchers ambassador and part-time social media pinata returning with even more insufferable super food for all of us to ridicule on our various social media channels.

Appearing glamorously on the cover of the Wentworth Courier this week (featuring terror inducing tagline “Activated Almonds? We’ve only just begun”) Evans discusses how pretentious proper nutrition can increases your sex drive “like a 16 year old” (ewww), the benefits of shopping at his newly opened B.U Organics store in Bondi Junction, Sydney, as well as the painfully esoteric super food known only to him, Japanese food scientists and recipients of Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP newsletter. 

Besides the almonds and alkalised water, Evans’ other nutrition essentials include:

Raw C Coconut Water – is promoted as being full of electrolytes, calcium and potassium to assist with hydration, digestion and weight loss.

Sprouted Breads – gluten, dairy, yeast, flour, egg, sugar, soy, grain and legume free.

Cultured Vegetables – a claimed super food which improve digestion and help to fight off viruses and other bacteria.

Himalayan Salt Lamps – said to emit emit negative ions that improve air quality and rid it of dust, pollen, smoke, odour, mold and dust.

Fermented Papaya Probiotics – said to be rich in antioxidants, amino acids and vitamins to boost the immune system.

Ugh. Someone get this guy a cheeseburger.

Photo by Neilson Barnard for Getty Images Entertainment