I need you to promise me something. I need you to swear you will do everything in your means to be responsible with the return of trashy 2000s fashion, in particular the resurgence of a specific trend that shot to popularity in the late 00s and was gone with the end of Skins – indie sleaze. Even more specifically, deep v-neck shirts.

Can we promise here and now that we won’t allow the deep V-neck t-shirts of that era to make a return, now the trashy-chic energy is coming back into style? I’m going to need you to pinky swear on this one.

If the 20 year trend cycle is anything to rely on (it’s yet to steer me horribly wrong), we’re hurtling towards the mid-00s style that covers that beautiful time before the MySpace exodus and the Tumblr era kicking off. I’ve already reminisced on the Jeffrey Campbell‘s booties of that time, and Dazed has captured the energy pretty excellently – it’s all American Apparel disco pants, liquid eyeliner, skinny scarves, and layers, layers, layers.

So if we’re cherrypicking things to bring back en vogue for this Saturn return of the mid-00s maximalist aesthetic that kinda smells like sweat, stale smoke, and expensive perfume, can we please all agree to not let those deep V necklines make a return. Literally nobody wants to see the chest of anyone. Unless they’re a sun-weathered Greek guy over 70 called Con and he’s power-washing his driveway on a Saturday morning. Obviously.

This V-neck? Too deep. When your V-neck is so stretched it’s more of a U-neck, we need to have words.

This? Absolutely not. A V-neck sandwich is not what I ordered at any point in my life.

Whatever this is? It can stay in 2012 thank you very much. This mans is out here showing off his sternum when nobody asked.

As someone who lived through this era as a nearly-grown adult, I feel incredibly old and suddenly hyper aware of all the Bad Shit™ that should not resurface from this specific time. Deep V necklines are right at the top of the list alongside those ridiculous slotted sunglasses that Kanye West made popular for reasons unknown. You know the ones.

That and wearing jeans under a dress or skirt. There’s no way in hell I’m okay with that trend coming back.

Image: E4 / Skins