Gasp! Apologises For World’s Bitchiest Customer Service

Melbourne retailer Gasp! Jeans has issued a public apology to the nation to repent for a well-publicised display of customer service so irreproachably cunty it made the shark in Jaws look like a slightly cranky sweetie pie.

On last night’s episode of Today Tonight a spokesperson for the brand said: “I apologise that the experience in the store wasn’t 100% positive.”

The “experience” he refers to is that of bride-to-be Keara O’Neill and her close girlfriends who were shopping for bridesmaid dresses. When the group walked into Gasp!’s Chapel Street store they were “pounced upon” by a male staff member, later identified as “retail superstar” and “qualified stylist with a sixth sense for fashion,” Chris.

What started out as enthusiastic assistance warped into a vortex of retail hell when Chris took to bullying O’Neill with comments like: “With your figure I think you should buy it.”, and bitchily yelling “Have fun finding something at Supré!” when the offended women made a break for it.

When O’Neill made a complaint in writing about Chris’s behaviour, the written response she received from a Gasp! customer service officer (whose name, I’m guessing, is Chris) actually supported the manner in which Chris handled himself because, you know, he’s “a retail superstar, who possesses unparalleled ability, and I am sorry you feel upset by him, but he knew you were not going to buy anything before you even left your house.”

According to an article in the Herald Sun that piece of shit Chris is still in Gasp!’s employment:

“[The Today Tonight apology] is a surprise, we don’t want to upset him at work, we will tell him after work,” Mr Chidgey said.

All I can say is, a company that retains a customer service employee who has no understanding of what customer service actually is (that’d be serving customers, Chris!), does not deserve to have any customers at all.

VIDEO: Gasp apologises for customer rant