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Look, don’t come for me, but Valentine’s Day is cute if you’ve got a partner. Or perhaps a secret admirer crush who sends you bouquets. But you know what is better than Valentine’s Day? Galentine’s Day, binches (coined by our one and only true president, Leslie Knope, from Parks & Recreation). 

Technically speaking, Galentine’s Day is a celebration of all the leading ladies in your life (because who needs a relationship when you’ve got your gal pals, right?!). While it’s typically held on February 13th, you can totally hold your Galentine’s Day on V-Day if you and your sweet pals don’t have plans.

Now, I know you don’t have to buy each other shit. But hey — it’s nice to shower your nearest and dearest with a few pressies once in a while!

I have literally never had a partner, let alone a casual razz around for Valentine’s Day, so Galentine’s Day is the shit in my books. Because of that, I’ve rounded up some adorable gifts I’ll be gifting my sweet angel babies this year.

Valentine’s Day gift ideas for friends

Tyche Scented Pillar Candle

Tyche Scented Pillar Candle, $22

Put your hand up if you’ve been personally victimised by a pastel candle? *Every Pinterest user in an eight km radius puts their hand up*. The moral of the story is you can’t go wrong with a quirky coffee table candle. Did I also mention that they smell delish as fuck?!

Grow a boyfriend or girlfriend

Galentines

Grow a Boyfriend ($19.95) or Girlfriend ($33.66)

You know that friend who is perpetually unlucky in love? Give ’em a boyfriend or girlfriend who won’t ghost them after a month of sex and false promises — a match made in heaven.

A bottle of sparkling rose

Freixenet Sparkling Rose, $22.99

Saturday sippers for the girls, and the girls only. Happy Galentine’s Day, besties!

A Big-D Donut

Galentine's

‘Big-D Energy’ Donut, $40

If your mate reckons it sucks balls to not have a Valentine, remind her that’s not the energy we’re after with this big bad boy. You can even get it filled with custard — if you’re catching what I’m throwing.

Matisse Wall Art

Matisse Wall Art, $27.07

Okay, maybe I just added these because I want someone to gift me wall posters this year *cough cough to any of my gal pals reading this RN* but how freaking nice are they? Unfortunately, they don’t come framed, but either way, I’m still closer to living my material gworl Pinterest room dreams. And so will your mates when they unwrap these bad boys on Galentine’s Day.

A cute bralette

Galentines

Daisy Bell Floss Bralette, $24.99

Erm, you absolutely can buy your platonic mate’s sexy lingerie. One — we’re all wearing ’em as fashion anyway, so you’re basically just adding to their wardrobe. Two — yay for sex! Love when my friends GET. IT. All my pals are babes and would look amazing in this lil’ hot pink number. A little Galentine’s Day treat.

A bouquet of flowers

Little Flowers bouquet, $30

Flowers don’t have to cost the Earth, and given Sydney’s Little Flowers only cost you $30, you can totally send some to a friend and write, “See you later tonight, sexy minx. Can’t wait to ravish you. Your hair looks good today. Love, Connell Waldron“. Like, totally worth the $30. Don’t take my idea, that’s MINE. Think of your own hot celebrity.

PS: Melbourne, try LVLY. Brissie, try Poco.

A star sign necklace

Galentines

Star Sign Necklace Gemini, $69

This is basically the non-tacky twenty-first-century version of those iconic Diva bestie lockets you’d buy in primary school. My bestie got me one of these for our G-Day last year, and every time I wear it, I think of her.

A vibrator

Womanizer Starlet 2 Rechargeable Clitoral Suction Stimulator, $83.96

Reparation for all the times your bestie’s ex thought the skin between her thigh and labia was her clit…

A personalised satin robe

Galentines

Personalised Satin Robe, $30

Um, excuse me, wot? A personalised satin robe? So you n’ the gals can swan around the house like some washed-up Hollywood actresses who are onto their fifth husbands and drink scotch on the rocks for breakfast? I think yes.

A mug n’ saucer set

ROI Mug and Saucer Set, $8.50

Baddies drink tea in pretty cup n’ saucer sets. Just sayin’.

A gratitude journal

The 6-Minute Diary, $38.90

Get ’em a gratitude journal, so they can write about why you’re a total blessing in their life.

Happy Galentine’s Day, besties!

Image: NBC / Parks and Recreation