Sweet, humble Vegemite. National spread of Australia. Indispensable curer of hangovers. Surprisingly not awful in chicken marinades.

Of all the versatile uses the beloved and quintessentially Australian spread of congealed brewer’s muck has, “masking the smell of many drugs” is apparently not one of them.

A French national is now facing deportation after being caught with a decent amount of various drugs at Melbourne’s Electric Parade festival last Saturday.

Police stopped 22-year-old Romain Franche and found around $3,000 worth of MDMA, acid, ketamine, ecstasy, hashish, and cocaine in his possession. The kicker? He smeared precious Vegemite over the bag in an attempt to sneak the stuff past sniffer dogs.

Y’know, because no dog ever has copped a whiff of the salty spread and gone in for a closer look. Hasn’t happened. Not once.

Franche, who is living in Melbourne to attend business school whilst also working as both a gondolier on the Yarra River and a French vintage furniture salesman because sometimes stereotypes follow their own instructions, was charged with trafficking and had his case heard yesterday.

Franche’s defence asserted that this was both his first offence, and that he was not carrying a particularly large amount of drugs – although the court noted that he was found in possession of 62 acid tabs which a judge labelled “a little bit alarming.”

The court convicted Franche and fined him $4,000. As a result, the status of his visa is under question.

Vegemite: Good on toast. Not so good on your Jerry Springers.

Source: Yahoo!7News.

Photo: Graham Denholm/Getty.