If you happen to know anyone who works in the United Airlines PR department, immediately send them a very large bottle of whisky and attach a card that reads simply “please quit.” The poor sods in that office have not had a good month to say the very least.
After wading their way through the absolute clusterfuck nightmare that was the incident where a paying passenger was forcibly and violently removed from a flight because the airline had oversold it, the airline is now facing another mysterious catastrophe: the apparent mid-flight death of a very large rabbit.
Simon, a male Continental Giant rabbit, was found dead on a plane after travelling from the UK to – you guessed it – Chicago. The 10-month-old rabbit was the offspring of Darius, a rabbit who holds the world record for being the world’s longest bunny, and it was expected that Simon could well have grown his way into the record books himself.
Simon was apparently on his way to a new home in the United States, and had been given a medical all-clear to travel just three hours prior to arriving at London’s Heathrow Airport. Another inspection at the airport apparently confirmed that the animal’s condition had not changed, and he was boarded on a flight to the US. But after arriving in Chicago, where he was scheduled to transfer to a domestic flight, United officials discovered that at some point between departing England and arriving in the US, Simon had died.
United Airlines, in a scrambled-together statement on the issue, asserted that they were investigating the incident.
“The rabbit has passed away, but the details surrounding that are being reviewed.”
“We were saddened to hear this news. The safety and well-being of all the animals that travel with us is of the utmost importance to United Airlines and our PetSafe team. We have been in contact with our customer and have offered assistance. We are reviewing this matter.”
Annette Edwards, who breeds the very big rabbits and was the one sending Simon overseas, stated that she’d flown the animals out to buyers countless times before without incident.
“He had that exam three hours before he left me to go to Heathrow. He then got to Heathrow, apparently, and he was fine. In Chicago he had to board to go to another flight – and that’s when I believe they found him dead.”
“Any other bunnies I’ve sent to the US have been fine. I’ve been doing it for quite a few years. I don’t sell unless it’s to the right person, because these animals are not like normal rabbits. They’re more like dogs, so you have to have the right facilities for them. They can’t go into a rabbit hutch.”
In another twist to the saga, the rabbit – who was already 3 feet 5 inches (104cm) long – has since been claimed to have died after he was offloaded from the plane, according to UK publication The Sun. They report that a United spokesman asserted that Simon died in a holding facility at O’Hare Airport, rather than mid-flight.
Edwards is now fighting to get Simon’s body returned to her in England in order to have a vet conduct a post-mortem. The animals sell for around US$400 each, and Edwards claims that the client who bought Simon was “very famous.”
The body, Edwards claims, has been placed in a freezer by airport staff in Chicago.
Dead rabbits, roughed-up passengers, my god. They say April is the cruellest month, but this is above and beyond.
Rest in peace, Simon. You very long bun.
Photo: Sean Gallup/Getty.
