Canberra fella Ryan Kennedy recently made a horrible, awful, No Good Very Bad™ mistake. A big ol’ fuck up.
Earlier this week, he bet his team mates at Tuggeranong Valley Cricket Club he’d score a 50 in a match. He did not win this bet. This resulted in what he referred to as, the “most severe consequences”.
He was not allowed to eat his favourite food – the classic Aussie meat pie. He was banned by his team mates, and was told he could no longer enjoy one after a game, or at any other time.
Goddamn he missed meat pies. Just so damn much.
He told 7 News,
“[I’ve] never made a 50 before, so I don’t know why I did it.It was a fun thing to do that ended up badly.My life’s gone. My greatest love. I’m absolutely gutted.It’s been a sad time not being able to eat them, especially when they’re sitting in the freezer.”
Ryan said that it was the most significant bet he’d ever made, second only to when he bet his mate that Sydney Swans would win the AFL Grand Final in 2014. When they lost to Hawthorne, Ryan had to mow his mate’s mum’s lawn for free.
I know, I know. This sounds like a heartbreaking tale, and you’re probably devastated right now. Heartbroken, even. But do not fear – this story ends with happy ending.
Kennedy created a change.org petition (uh huh) which fought for his basic human right to consume pie, and his team mates relented that if he made it to 250 signatures, he could resume eating The Best Servo Food™ as much as he damn well pleased.
And looksie here – HE’S MADE IT! VICTORY! WE ARE SPARTA! FREEDOOOOOOOM!
He’s currently at 500+ signatures at time of writing, so pies are once again part of his diet. *wipes away tear*
One signee of the petition wrote,
“Ryan is one of the sickest lads around, and the fact that he won’t be able to eat meat pies again scares me to no end. I don’t want to know a man who can only eat apple and raspberry pies, not being able to get a nice warm meat pie from a servo on the road.I hope by signing this Ryan will get redemption. I PRAY… (pray) WE’LL BRING ON A NEW DAY *insert sick guitar riff*”
7 News reports that Kennedy is a huge fan of Four ‘N Twenty, Sergents Pies, AND the locally made pastries that he’s purchased at bakeries along the east coast. He’s a pie connoisseur, as you can probably tell.
Bloody good stuff Ryan. Bloody good stuff indeed. Let this be a lesson to us all – pie gambling: not even once.
Source: 7 News.