Sometimes the world feels so big, dark and crushing that the only thing one can find any real joy in is mindless consumerism. So it brings me great pleasure to let you know that you’re now able to mindlessly consume in a way more thrilling than ever before: at the freshly-launched TK Maxx stores that are starting to pop up all over the country.
What in the name of dollarydoos is TK Maxx, I hear you ask? Only the wildly successful and ludicrously cheap discount designer duds store, which has finally arrived in Australia after dominating the scene all over Europe. The first Australian store is already open in Melbourne, and people are losing their shit.
— Nine News Melbourne (@9NewsMelb) April 20, 2017
You might be skeptical about what exactly could be so thrilling about a giant discount store, but do me a favour: imagine a gigantic Savers. Now imagine that it’s all designer gear that’s never been worn, selling for half the regular retail price. Or less.
TK Maxx sells absolutely bloody everything, too, from dresses and shoes to makeup, luggage and furniture.
Spokeswoman Tessa Buenan said that a peculiar buying strategy is what allows for the deepest of deep discounts.
“We buy throughout the year, rather than seasonally, and close to need. So when a designer overproduces or other stores overbuy, we swoop in, negotiate the lowest possible price, and pass the savings on.“We have no stock room so what arrives one day literally goes straight to the floor. That’s the magic of TK Maxx, that it’s constantly changing. It’s a bit of a treasure hunt for our customers.”
If you’re not sold already, just remember that from all reports and with some persistence, you’re likely to get your hands on some of the Ivanka Trump fashion line. Imagine the stories you’ll be able to tell wearing that to your next wedding.