A big fkn fibreglass Australian Kensington Pride mango standing ten metres tall and usually residing in Pride of Place, Queensland, disappeared from its rightful home in Bowen overnight in yet another instance of drunk idiots absconding with fibreglass icons in the midnight hour. 

According to the ABC, Chairman of Bowen Tourism Paul McLaughlin said he was informed of the cumbersome heist earlier today by a staff member at the city’s information centre: “I thought she was joking to start off but she said ‘no I’m serious’ so I have come out and sure enough the mango has disappeared.” 

Speaking toward the difficulty of making off with said big mango, McLaughlin noted that, sure enough, “It wouldn’t be an easy task” most likely requiring the use of heavy machinery, the likes of which drunk idiots are cautioned against operating. Tourism Bowen have reported the incident to local authorities and surveillance footage is currently undergoing a level of scrutiny befitting to the nature and locale of the crime [v. chill]. Said McLaughlin:

“We are just on the early stages of looking at that footage.” 

The Big Mango, Kensington Pride of Bowen’s tourism industry, was completed in May 2002 at the cost of $90,000 – an exorbitant $60,000 in excess of the initial budget. According to Tourism Bowen, “some argue a mango is the right way up where it sits in the tree, with the stem on top. Growers maintain a mango is the right way up when it is packed for sale, with the stem at the bottom.” 

Everyone agrees this is the most Queensland crime ever. 

Seriously though, you can contact Queensland Crime Stoppers here or on 1800 333 000.

Photo: Tourism Bowen via ABC North Queensland