Life, right? We’re all like hamsters on some sort of conveyor belt, just running at full pelt with zero time to waste on waiting for shit. But, at the same time, if you’re like me (and I assume you are bc you are reading this) you also have all this beauty upkeep you like to do. Fake tanning. Looking after your skin. Giving your hair some TLC. Blah, blah, blah but who has TIME FOR THAT. Not bloody me, mates.
That’s why I’ve pulled together a bunch of beauty inventions I personally find make my life 4000% easier (not a real figure but you know what I mean) and I hope will also make your life 4001% easier. I gave you an extra 1% coz I’m great like that.
AFTER TAN CO BAMBOO SHEET PROTECTOR
Fake tanning is fun. Fake tan all over your sheets isn’t. I used to be stuck fake tanning only the night before a sheet wash, bc washing your quilt cover, base sheet, the whole lot every time you fake tan? That’s terrible for the environment, and it’s also fucking annoying. This thing changed my life and I don’t care if that sounds dramatic – it’s like a comfy, breathable sleeping bag, it’s black so it doesn’t show stains, and then I’m just washing one sheet. I’ve also got the pillow cover which is equally great.
CLARISONIC MIA FIT
Okay, this one is pricey but anyone who has a Clarisonic will sing it’s praises to you, trust me. It’s so good for anyone who wears makeup every day (it cleans it all clear off your mug) and it also gives a gentle exfoliation which I really need – I have dry skin that gets flaky. Plus, I have the makeup applicator head which blends your foundation in seamlessly if you’re, you know, not so good with a foundation brush/BeautyBlender. So it kind of works like a 3-in-1, and honestly I’d have the most clogged and shitty skin without it bc I can never be bothered doing an actual exfoliation step.
AQUIS LISSE LUXE LONG HAIR TOWEL
I have long hair and it’s bloody thick, let me tell you. There is a LOT OF IT and half my beauty-related frustrations come down to it. One extremely annoying gripe is how long it takes to dry, which is why this towel is a mainstay in my bathroom now. It cuts down drying time significantly by leeching all the water out while my hair’s up in a turban post-shower – so I spend a lot less time with a hairdryer surgically attached to my hand.
LENEIGE WATER SLEEPING MASK
Face masks! Who has time for that bullshit! Well sometimes I do and I wish I did have more hours in my day to be a lady of leisure lying around with gunk on my mug, but I don’t. This one is designed to be worn while you sleep, it’s gel formula stays on but doesn’t feel goopy, and in the morning I genuinely look more rested and dewy.
REVLON COLORSTAY GEL ENVY DIAMOND TOP COAT
So this is *technically* meant to be used in conjunction with their Gel Envy polishes, but bc I love breaking rules I just whack it on top of whatever polish I’ve decided to wear. I don’t know what black magic they’ve put in this stuff but it genuinely keeps my nail polish from chipping for a week minimum. That’s fingernail polish which we all know is the woooorst. On my toes, I can basically have chip-free polish for like 6 years, probably.
BENEFIT THE POREFESSIONAL PEARL PRIMER
If you’ve ever used Benefit’s famous POREfessional cream, you know why it’s so hyped up. You can put the stuff on bare skin and see your pores disappear and fine lines look, well, FINER. Add it on top of foundation and score a primo blurring finish. It keeps foundation in place. It mattifies. It does bloody everything bar bring about world peace. This is their latest version and it’s my fave bc it’s got a radiance-boosting pink tint to it, so you get added glow with your blurring effects.
MUK DEEP MUK 1 MINUTE TREATMENT
Who has time to stand in the shower all cold/wet waiting for a hair product to do it’s work? Not me, that’s for sure. This is my all-time favourite hair mask because it works in a minute (yes) it actually softens dry, brittle strands (double yes), and it doesn’t leave your hair feeling filmy or flat (triple yes).
You’d have to have been living under a rock to not know about Dyson’s foray into hair tools with the Supersonic. Marketed as this super quiet, extremely high-powered hair dryer, it legit is all that and more. And yes, I KNOW IT’S EXPENSIVE. But the reviews don’t lie – you’ll find thousands of positive ones around the internet, but here’s my take. This is the only dryer that gets my hair sorted in under 10 minutes without using heat levels that fry the ends into oblivion. Plus if you use the styling nozzle and have wavy hair like me, it basically gives you an almost-blowdry finish. At the very least I just run my straightener over my hair for 5 minutes and then it’s sleek as shit.
MAYBELLINE NEW YORK BROW PRECISE
Okay I’m following on the extremely pricey Dyson with this cheapie – when I’m lazy and ceebs filling my entire eyebrows in with colour, I use this guy. It’s tinted gel, but it also has fibres in it so for my sparse eyebrows, it’s a god-send. In like three seconds I can have lightly tinted, held-in-place, thicker looking eyebrows. Sold.