I put it to you that there is nothing that we, as a species, like fucking with more than coffee.

Not content with lovingly grinding the beans, filtering hot water through them, and enjoying the rich, smooth, nectar of the god’s. No! We have to put blue algae shit it indeconstruct it, and mix it up with everything we can possible churn into ‘milk’.

Which brings us to this: Australia, your new coffee trend is… espresso tonic.

Espresso tonic ?? #espressotonic

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And that’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a shot of espresso, see – but instead of drinking it by itself, or with hot or cold water, or milk, it’s drunk with tonic.

The SMH‘s Kate McClymont alerted us to this worrying trend:

But as it turns out, it’s been around for a while. A June 2014 NY Times article about six innovated iced coffees (proving that absolutely no publication is above a good ol’ listicle) pointed to San Francisco coffee house Saint Frank‘s Kaffe Tonic as being the Yank originator.

“A crisp and refreshing play on the bitter and sweet flavours found in both espresso and tonic water, the Kaffe Tonic is simply a shot of espresso poured over a glass of Fever-Tree tonic and ice,” wrote the NY Times. “It tastes like a refined take on the Fernet-Branca and soda you drink in the afternoon in Buenos Aires.”

Apparently, those guys were inspired by a similar drink by Swedish microroaster Koppi – and the trend has spread.

Melbourne‘s Market Lane Coffee told us they’d been doing espresso tonics – listed on their menu as a Coffee Spritz – for about two years. It’s more of a summer drink, they told us, for obvious reasons, and has to be made by pouring tonic water over 1–2 shots of espresso (if you try it the other way round, the coffee reacts with the tonic and the whole thing overflows).

And Sydney‘s Silks Café – where this whole kerfuffle started – told us they’re more than happy to start serving espresso tonics, they just have to get the tonic water first.

Every day we step further from god’s light. But also they sounds kinda great and I low key want to try one.

Espresso Tonic, a bebida que realça o sabor do café, foi tema da caixa de janeiro aqui no clube. Foram inúmeros compartilhamentos de assinantes e novatos engajados do #teamfabrizio. Sucesso? Com certeza. E você, enrolou até agora para pedir? Corre lá pro blog que a receita continua pra você aproveitar o ano todo. Sim, somos legais ?? #moccato #cafeespecial #espressotonic

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Photo: __fikon / Instagram.