Aussie Model Commits Grand Larceny To Buy Braces

In news reminiscent of that super depressing Magnolia subplot where “Quiz Kid” Donnie Smith (William H. Macy) robs his former workplace to pay for braces so that somebody will love him, an aspiring Brisbane model has been arrested in New York after swindling a bank out of $275,00 so that he could pay for braces.

According to authorities, 19 year old Azeem Ali-Shabazz received a $286,648 business loan from
Sovereign Bank in New York City by claiming he was the owner of CW Capital Asset
Management, which, granted, is kind of hard to believe coming from a 19 year old Aussie guy with a nose ring? According to Ali-Shabazz, however, it was he who got swindled. The teenager was put up to the crime by a trio he only knew as Darryl, Orlando and Jason and received none of the $1500 he was promised for
participating in the con.

“I wanted to get braces,” he told the New York Daily News. “I’ve got a nice smile, but I wanted a million-dollar smile.”

Ali-Shabazz was arrested last Thursday when he entered the bank to ask why his accounts were frozen. He has since been charged with grand larceny and is currently being held on $20,000 bail in the Manhattan Detention Complex.