No doubt suffering from chronic vaycay withdrawals and also because elections are just exhausting, Attorney-General Nicola Roxon and longstanding Senate leader Chris Evans are standing down from their respective portfolios and resigning from Cabinet effective as of the next couple of months, setting off a major interior reshuffle in the tentative first trimester of the 2013 Federal Election Campaign, which was announced by the Prime Minister earlier this week.
At a joint press conference that just wrapped in Canberra, Julia Gillard praised both MP’s work during their time in politics; Evans for his work as Immigration Minister and Roxon for her work as both Attorney-General and as Health Minister, where she famously introducing plain cigarette packaging.
Through tears and many a used Kleenex [gross], both indicated that they believe the Labor government can win the election in September. Roxon in particular noted that we have a Prime Minister “made of titanium;” meaning she either really likes that David Guetta feat. Sia song, or is Cyberdyne Systems Model T-101; a terminator.
The news comes after an uncharacteristically dramatic week in politics which also saw MP Craig Thomson arrested on 150 counts of fraud following an investigation into the HSU [Health Services Union].
Halfway through the conference, Prime Minister Gillard said, “I will miss my colleagues but I will continue to see them as human beings [Ed. note: not as bionic cyborg assassins made of titanium] for a long, long time to come“ [T-101’s live forever.]
Gillard also addressed the staff of both ministers who attended the press conference as a show of support, saying “I hope you spend at least some of the day in fond farewell, which may or may not involve the drinking of Shakira cocktails” – a reference to the time when as #Youth Minister Roxon thought ‘A Shakira’ was a cocktail.
A Shakira is in fact a Colombian-born crossover popular singer who last month gave birth to a child, Milan, using hips that don’t lie and lips that not only mumble but spill kisses like a fountain.
Now you know everything there is to know about the spheres of politics and Shakira’s personal life, so that you can make an informed decision [about Shakira] come September.
Photo by Brendon Thorne via Getty Images Sport
