ALERT: ‘MasterChef’ Finally Returns In Just Over A Week & So Do Our Recaps

It is the most wonderful time of the year, dear folks. The lights have been thrown back on, the dust blown off the sous-vide machines, MATT PRESTON‘S GROWN A BEARD.
It is once again ‘MasterChef Australia‘ season, y’all!
The long-running and supremely excellent cooking-as-sport series has been biding its time in the editing suites at Channel Ten until such time as Seven stopped milking out ‘My Kitchen Rules‘ for the 58 weeks it’s been on-air; we get it – cooking in a home kitchen is difficult, Pete Evans is a paleo-humping goose with a face like a reanimated mannequin, and literally everyone on the planet wants to mouth-kiss Manu. WE GET IT.
Finally, at long bloody last, our wait is soon to be over.
Overnight Ten revealed that this season of ‘MasterChef‘ – the show’s 9th overall – will premiere on Monday night, May 1st, at 7:30pm. That is a shade over one week from now. Excited reacts only.

Better still, this means there’s just over a week before the glorious PEDESTRIAN.TV return of our hugely beloved*, critically acclaimed**, sexually appealing*** recap series ‘MASTERCHEF DRAMA,’ in which our least knowledgable food expert in Senior News Editor Cam Tyeson picks apart the show with merciless wit, insatiable appetite, and comedic third statement.

What on earth could this season possibly have in store for us?
Could George, fuelled by the recent underpaid staff scandal at his restaurant, spiral slowly into madness as the season progresses, even though taping had already long-since finished when the story broke?
Will Matt continue to make weird suggestive eyebrows at people while he licks anything with cream in it, furthering his quest to be crowned the Horniest Judge™?
Has enough time passed now that someone will once again be stupid enough to try and adobo some godforsaken white chocolate?
It’s all going down from next week, when the most best cooking show of them all – ‘MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA‘ – returns!
Game on, molls!
* Definitely yes.
** Definitely no.
*** Depends how big of a stiffy you get over risotto.
Source: Channel Ten/Twitter.

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