Holy shit, folks. This is not a drill.

REPEAT: NOT. A. DRILL.

If you’re anything like me aka a completely normal human being with normal thoughts, you no doubt fantasise about being hand-fed by Jeff Goldblum around two-to-three times an hour.

And as you all know, such a giddy thrill can really only ever exist in fantasy because there’s not a scenario on earth where that could actually happen.

Except in Sydney.

Today.

It’s happening.

Jeff Goldblum is in Sydney right sodding now handing out free sausages, no we are absolutely not kidding, look at the dang photos.

Terrible photo of me, but I don’t even mind because Jeff Goldblum serenaded me the Jurassic Park theme song! Can’t wipe the smile off my face ???? #secretproject #jeffgoldblum #jurassicpark

A post shared by CHANTEL ZAMPARUTTI (@chantelfrances) on

Just casual lunch with #JeffGoldblum at #chefgoldblums. As you do. #lovesydney

A post shared by Shaun (@shaunteh1) on

Scoring a sanga from #brundlefly #chefgoldblum I’m, I’m simply saying that life, uh… finds a way

A post shared by Phillips Huynh (@ph22ps) on

Good to be working with my old friend #chefgoldblum … come down to the quay for a freebie

A post shared by Yo (@theyomamaskitchen) on

The legend himself, @jeffgoldblum, is selling sausages at Circular Quay. ??#sydney #barbecue #gourmet #keepitretail

A post shared by Martin Feld Retail Collection (@martinfeldretail) on


The man himself is seriously manning the counter in the Chef Goldblum’s food truck, slinging up gourmet bangers for absolutely nothing this afternoon.

The truck began its afternoon trip at Wynyard Station, but at last check it appears to be currently hanging out somewhere around Circular Quay.

For the love of all that is holy – run, do not walk. Get your arse down there as soon as humanly possible, and live out the dream that this particular writer is only mildly weirded out about being turned on at the thought of it.

Source: Instagram.

Photo: Shaunteh1/Instagram.