A QLD Theme Park Is Flogging Its Old Shit & You Can Buy A Fkn Bumper Boat

How’s your house deposit-saving going? Got a bit stashed away? Edging ever-closer to the $20k mark? 
FANTASTIC, because I need you to immediately forget your frankly untenable dreams of home ownership and buy me some ex-theme park toys. Right now. I need them. 
The Sunshine Coast’s Top Shots Fun Park is closing down after a successful ten years bringing reasonably-priced joy to ages 5 and up, and owner Barry Higgins is selling everything. Everything!!!!
Boring useful shit like bain maries, stainless steel benches, fryers, tables and chairs, pool maintenance stuff and kitchen counters are all up for grabs, but who cares about that junk: Higgins is selling eight blaster boats, i.e. waterborne bumper cars, complete with front-mounted squirter guns and battery power. Who’s king of the public pool NOW, Dylan???!
Suck shit, Dylan!!!!
The boats were $8,000 each new, but our mate Barry is only after $10,000 for all eight. That’s like, the definition of a bargain. 
Maybe you’re not such a pool person, but you’ve been feeling that your share house back yard is looking a bit empty. Hwelp, now’s your chance to fill it with a six-metre climbing wall, which comes with three climbing routes and all the attending equipment. Are you ready to make backyard drinks heaps more likely to end in bodily injury? I am.
Small catch: it turns out theme park stuff is kind of expensive – and it’s drawing a lot of interest prior to the official sale date at the start of February. Higgins told the Sunshine Coast Daily:
We have been getting lots of enquiry on the equipment already. I’m expecting to get between $10,000 to $15,000 for the climbing wall.
Ten grand for the climbing wall, plus another ten grand for all eight blaster boats, might seem like an unwise investment when you could potentially be putting that cash towards a two-bedroom bungalow in Tamworth, sure. But ask yourself: can you really put a price on FUN? The answer is yes, of course you can, it’s $20k and I need to borrow it right now. 

Image: Instagram / @sunshinecoast360. 

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