Nestled snugly between in the north-east corner of the United States, the city’s international reputation seems to be held up by a few key pillars: The Red Sox. American independence, and a distrust of tea. Irish heritage. Fallout 4. MIT and Harvard. The mob. Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and the New England Patriots.
You can combine any two of those elements and come up with a winner: Damon x the mob = The Departed.
The Red Sox x Fallout 4 = a post-apocalyptic city built in Fenway Park.
And now, thanks to lauded sports journalist Bill Simmons‘ new show, Affleck x the Pats = one of the greatest televised rants you’ll see all year.
Let’s set the angry, angry scene: ‘Deflategate‘ is the cheating scandal that saw the Pat’s living legend quarterback Tom Brady sidelined for four games, after allegedly using an under-inflated footy during a match.
Why? Well, the argument goes that deflation gave him an unfair advantage, as balls with lower pressure are supposedly easier to grip and throw. Understandably, that’s a pretty big advantage for someone whose job is gripping and throwing balls in stressful circumstances.
Welp, the aftermath was a total (and ongoing) legal shitshow that Affleck is not exactly stoked on. After Simmons referenced the debacle, our boy let absolutely rip:
“Deflategate is the ultimate bullshit fucking outrage of sports. Ever. It’s so fucking stupid that I can’t believe.”
And that’s just the beginning. Don’t care for NFL? Doesn’t bloody matter. Ladies and gentlemen, forget Sad Ben Affleck, we are now living in the age of Mad Ben Affleck, and it is wild.
You don’t need to know the ins and outs of the entire saga, nor the names involved, to thoroughly enjoy hearing the bloke rag on anyone who’d dare to wrong the region’s beloved team:
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Also included: a miniature but pointed dig at the league’s handling of domestic violence.
