Well durr, Viagra is performance enhancer! But who knew those results could extend (geddit) to the football field? In the wake of a the increasing number of Amphetamine related suspensions within the NFL, Chicago Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall has lifted the lid on the NFL’s strangest epidemic.
“I don’t know too much about Adderall,” Marshall said. “I know guys, it is such a competitive league, guys try anything just to get that edge. I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with size and some smarts to give me my edge. But some guys’ they’ll do whatever they can to get an edge. I’ve heard of some crazy stories. I’ve heard (of) guys using like Viagra, seriously. Because the blood is supposedly thin, some crazy stuff. So, you know, it’s kind of scary with some of these chemicals that are in some of these things so you have to be careful.”
Having never played elite sport ever, let alone with an erection, who am I to discount his claim and furthermore there may actually be some scientific evidence indicating that Viagra can give athletes an advantage on the field. In 2008, the New York Times reported on a study funded by the World Anti-Doping Agency, where Marywood
University tested the drug on several members of the school’s lacrosse
team to determine possible athletic benefits. While WADA found there was insufficient evidence to put the drug on the banned list, results indicate that Viagra promoted the movement of blood to areas other than the dangly man parts.
In addition to individual enhancements, there are the obvious effects for the team. Mass Viagra abuse could lead to the stiffening of defenses, attacking penetration, and it could have similar repercussion as to those within the cycling community with the authenticity of every NFL related boner coming under scrutiny.
Thankyou god of dick jokes. May we do you proud.
via USA Today
