That’s it, folks. I’m calling it. The foot is going down. This is the absolute last dab that is allowed to be performed on any sporting field anywhere in the world. It’s over. It was a good couple of 18 months. We all had a lot of fun with it. But it’s done. It’s jumped the shark. Let it die in peace.
And if you needed any more evidence that the whole thing has gone profoundly bung, you need look no further than the SCG, where today the bastard dab officially crossed over into Test Match Cricket, which owing to the fact that it’s a game largely invented by colonialist England and is played practically exclusively by the dying remnants of the British Empire, makes it the least cool sport on the planet. Even though it is truly bloody wonderful.
Usman Khawaja just passed the half-century mark in Australia’s second innings at the third and final test against Pakistan. To celebrate, he, like the literal millions before him, dabbed. With a cricket helmet. Good lord.
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) January 6, 2017
Never in my life have I wanted anything to be an artful sneeze more than this.
Judging by the reaction of the rest of the team in the dressing room, you’d put good money on the fact that he was dared to do it, or that it was the subject of a bet.
But even still, how much money could’ve possibly been on the line for this? The juice, folks. It ain’t worth the squeeze.
So because of its continued insistence on sticking around, someone (me) has to be brave enough to call it.
It’s dead, everyone. Spread the word.
At least the vuvuzela had the common decency to promptly fuck off after the World Cup in South Africa ended.