Sad as it is to admit, there are two absolute certainties about the Super Bowl these days: 1) Tom Brady will be in it. And 2) Tom Brady will rock up to the game wearing something fucked.

Sure enough, the man who mouth kissed his son has done it again.

Proving once again that his sense of fashion somehow has the Benjamin Button disease, Brady again regressed further into the early 90s/late 80s with his choice of pre-game attire, arriving to the game wearing what looks to be a slightly more dressed up version of John Cusack‘s iconic boombox scene attire from Say Anything….

Which begs a lot of questions.

Is Tom Brady gonna front up to the Patriots locker room and declare that he doesn’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything bought, sold, or processed in his rev up speech?

At some point in their likely batshit weird courtship, did Tom Brady give Gisele Bündchen his heart, only to receive a mere pen in return?

If (when, ugh) he wins, is he gonna demand Peter Gabriel‘s incredibly good jam In Your Eyes be belted out on the stadium PA?

Or is someone finally gonna grab him by the scruff of the neck and demand that he chill?

All I know is I like Lloyd Dobler a hell of a lot more than I like Tom Brady.

Image: Getty Images / Icon Sportswire