The Tom Brady Gags Are Rolling In And, Yes, They’re Mostly About Kissing

Before we begin here, there needs to be some context: Tom Brady likes to kiss. A lot.

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Following Brady’s entirely ho-hum win in today’s Super Bowl, the 41-year-old cyborg celebrated by greeting New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft with a well-planted kiss, right on the mouth.

No doubt about there, mates. That’s a full-on lip kiss, square on the mush of the old man who signs his sizeable pay cheques, at least one of which he should give to me.

That is the latest in a long, long line of weird things Tom Brady does with his mouth, which traces back to this clip wherein a shirtless and prone Tom lip-kisses his son for a duration of no less than two full seconds.

This is not an isolated pair of incidents either. Tom Brady will literally mouth kiss anyone. The closer to him the better.

He just loves to kiss. He cannot be prevented from kissing.

Naturally then, as soon as the Robert Kraft kiss hit screens across the globe, the kiss-related gags began pouring in thick and fast on ye olde social media. And lord, there were some absolute crackers in there.

We simply cannot stress this enough, mates: Tom Brady absolutely loves to kiss. He is a fiend for it. It is his favourite thing.