The AFL Grand Final Drinking Game


It’s the big one! That game that stops a nation! Or at least Sydney and Melbourne, with this year’s clash sure to tap into a rivalry bigger than sport. What about the Hawthorn Hawks? They’ve been favorites all year but if anyone can wrestle them into submission, it’s the scrapping Sydney Swans. Will it be the Buddy bonanza bringing home the bacon or will Goodsie’s heroics secure Sydney the bragging rights for the year. It’s shaping up to be a nail-biter so what better way to calm the nerves than with the the Pedestrian endorsed AFL Grand Final drinking game!

Take a drink if…
– You know who Sarah De Bono is.
– Tim Rogers opens his Grand final address with “I’m like a waterlogged ball/that no one wants to kick around anymore”.
– Ryan Schoenmakers isn’t allowed to take the field because he miss-spelled his surname on the team sign-on sheet.
– There’s a bit of argy-bargy pre-bounce.
– Mike Pike receives a concussion and then trots over to the sideline for a line-out.
– Buddy Franklin kicks a behind from a set shot.
– The umpires wave the 15m bounce rule when Lewis Jetta gets in the clear.
– Sydney string more than five hand balls together in a row.
– A set shot goal is preceded by the playing pulling up their socks, hocking a loogie, or adjusting their package. x5 if all three occur for same goal.
– You can clearly lip read Alastair Clarkson or John Longmire screaming obscenities in the coach’s box.

Finish your drink if…
– The Cup is delivered to the field from the air. Double down if it’s by a terrified ex-player harnessed to a helicopter or harrier jump-jet.
– Temper Trap cover ‘Bat Out of Hell’ during the pre-game entertainment.
– Your ‘barrack for whoever Collingwood are playing’ tipping policy means you don’t know who to go for.
– The Bible, by way of Bob Geldof, is quoted i.e. “Cometh the hour cometh the man!”
– Bruce McAvany refers to Cyril Rioli as delicious.
– Luke Hodge’s gastro comes back to haunt him mid-game.
– “The game is in the balance.”
– A flag waiver inadvertently pokes someones eyes out.
– A star player is flattened in an off the ball incident.

Finish the carton/bottle/rest of the booze cabinet if…
– You get too wasted, scribble on your arms with texta, whack on Weezer, and jump on the coffee table and sing “Woo-ee-oo, I look just like Buddy Franklin!”
– You’re watching the game with people who refer to it as GayFL. (you’ll need it)
– Meatloaf returns by way of mid-game streak.
– It’s a draw so you have to scrap your plans for next Saturday.

Enjoy!

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