A Fuck-Tonne Of Seagulls Invaded The Tennis Last Night To Find Food & Drop Big Shits

I hate seagulls – I have nothing against birds in general, but I hate seagulls. So it brings me nothing but irritation to write that a whole damn flock of them invaded Melbourne Park last night during the tennis. If pigeons had done this, I would’ve laughed! But seagulls? Piss off!!

The Phillip Island Trophy is being held at Melbourne Park during the Australian Open. Players who have been knocked out of the Grand Slam tournament can compete in the Phillip Island Trophy, giving them another chance at some silverware.

Anywho, last night’s match between Canadian Bianca Andreescu and American Madison Brengle was halted when a whole bunch of seagulls swooped onto the court looking for food.

I’m not exaggerating when I say it was a whole flock of seagulls, not just one or two.

Victoria’s snap five-day lockdown has put an end to crowds for the moment, so the birds were feeling brave.

Andreescu was even robbed of an ace (maybe, we’ll never know now) when a seagull flew too low, just narrowly missing the ball. The serve ended up being called a let. Brengle tried to chase off the cheeky bugger with her racquet, but I don’t think it was very fazed. In my experience, seagulls aren’t afraid of anything.

The seagulls continued to cause havoc throughout the second and third sets of the match, swooping and pooping everywhere. The poor ball kids were left to scoop up the bird shit on the surface of the court.

In the end, Andreescu won the match in three sets, she’ll verse Zarina Diyas in the last 16 of the Phillip Island Trophy. There might not have been a crowd to cheer her on, but there were birds. And the birds squawked in support, or hunger. Probably hunger.

You can catch the highlights of the match, featuring squawking seagulls, right here.

This tweet really just sums it up.

Seagulls aside, the Australian Open continues today with the quarterfinals, so strap in.

Su-wei Hsieh (#14) will take on Naomi Osaka (#3) and Serena Williams (#10) will verse Simona Halep (#2). Both of these matches make me extremely nervous.

On the men’s side of things, Novak Djokovic (#1) will square up against Alexander Zverev (#6) and Grigor Dimitrov (#18) will go up against Aslan Karatsev (#114).

Karatsev is vying to become the first man to reach the final four on his Grand Slam debut. Huge effort!

You catch the Australian Open 2021 on Channel 9.