SCG To Get Hipster Overhaul

Just in time for next summer’s Ashes tour, the SCG’s $186 million development will be completed with the new services on offer set to revolutionise the traditional day at the cricket. Included in the stadium upgrade:
– A micro-brewery
– Sports and cocktail bar
– Roof-top terrace
– Improved dining facilities which will provide fresh seafood, quality hamburgers and wood-fired pizza

Traditional activities set to suffer as a result of the upgrade:
– Mexican waves
– Beer snaking
– Streaking
– Prime Ministerial schooner chugging

Replacing the old Noble, Messenger and Bradman stands, the redevelopment will increase the ground capacity from 46,000 to 48,000 but whether anyone will be able to afford the new creature comforts will be a different story. With the flat schooner of light beer/lukewarm 4&20 meat pie combo currently setting punters back over $10, one shudders to think what a hand-crafted pale ale and tray of rock oysters is going to cost?

As yet, former Prime Minister Bob Hawke has been unavailable for comment but we get feeling that he’ll be giving the the stadium facelift the thumbs down. It’s just not cricket!

For some artistic renderings of yuppies not giving a toss about what’s happening on the field, click here.

Picture by Ryan Pierse at Getty Images